Should you discuss your sexual past with your partner?
They
say most men cannot handle the fact that their women had lovers before them.
Indeed, if they ask how many men have ‘sailed across your ocean’ before them,
any number over two, is too many!
Is it that men want to see their partners as chaste,
wholesome and near virginal or is it as Jack Nicholson famously said in the
movie ‘A Few Good Men’ that they cannot handle the truth?
One
would argue that whatever happened before you came along is in the past, should
not matter and is really none of your business. There is much merit to this
train of thought…except if past relationships produced any little people or
produced any pesky little things called STIs. Yea, those factors do matter a
lot.
When
it comes down to it, your past is just that – YOUR past. It is not about having
secrets, it is about a period of time that was your own to explore, experiment
and examine the things you enjoyed or disliked.
If we are completely honest, there are some things we
will regret and rehashing them for someone else’s ears is an unpleasant
situation. And truth be told, your current partner may also find it unpleasant
and subconsciously wish that you would had kept it to yourself.
We should weigh the pros and the cons about what to
share and how much to share.
In addition to your health status, if you know you
have a wandering eye, that should be discussed upfront. A history of cheating
is vital information because your partner should know exactly what it is that
they signed up for so that there are no nasty surprises down the road. If you
shared that you struggled with staying faithful, then they have the option of
deciding for themselves if getting into a relationship with you is worth the
risk or not. Do not let them be blindsided down the road because you kept
things from them that will not only damage the relationship but could possible
damage both their trust and self-esteem.
One thing that you should ‘fess up about is how and
why your last major relationship ended. Do not sugar-coat it, pass it off as no
big deal or throw the other party under the bus. State it, own it and then
release it. That’s the only way you will be able to forge a happy and healthy
partnership.