We know the stereotypes of men hiding in the dark with

a bottle of lotion while their partners are totally disgusted by the very idea

of them getting off to porn.

But, contrary to popular belief, women enjoy porn just

as much as men do and find it just as stimulating or which makes one wonder, can

couples incorporate it into their relationship?

It depends on your worldview but the simple answer is ‘yes’.

If you do not have religious hang-ups and do not consider sexual intercourse a

shameful act best done in the dark, then pornography may have a place in your

bedroom.

In a 2014 study by Canada’s Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, it found that porn can positively influence intimacy in a relationship if frank and open discussions occurs. That way it minimises stress and promotes better and more intense copulation intimacy. In fact, by couples talking about their likes and fantasies, it’s said that they often get so turned on they end up having sex.

Many couples use pornographic materials to stimulate foreplay, promote role playing and add new activities, places and positions to their sexual routine, hence it does not become routine or monotonous. Additionally, if we are completely honest, some people do not tell their partners what excites them sexually. A lot of this is because we are not socialised to put our thoughts out there and acknowledge that we are sexual beings.

By

watching porn, we can view a scene and then say “that was hot”, or “I like that”

or ‘I’d really like to try that” and that will give our mates some clues as to

what would work for us. The main thing comes down to honesty. Instead of hiding

your fantasies, share them. You never know, your spouse may just get a kick out

of it too.