A child devoid of love will grow loveless and broken. In turn, mates that love less will break in marriage.

How can partners cement their relationship in love — one of, if not the greatest quality of all?

One love split

Love may be hard to define. Instead, it may be better to identify different facets of love.

There is that warm bond cultivated by friends, while another is the natural affection family members share. Then there is that romantic love a man has for a woman, which initially constitutes the most powerful fuel in a relationship. These three types of love, a husband and wife should do well to cultivate.

However, there is another type of love that surpasses them all, one based more on principle rather than natural affection called agape.

Try loving based on principle

Agape, a Greek word, ranks above other qualities as it is based on principles, that is, doing the thing because it is the right thing to do. It describes a selfless interest in others, to do to them whether they deserve it or not

Admittedly, this is not natural but it is highly beneficial to marriage mates that they exercise this type of love.

After a time, when flaws become glaring, partners will need to put up with each other in a spirit of forgiveness. Exercising this kind of love helps us to see that we who forgive, will likely need the forgiveness of others.

Love when love fails

While couples take steps to spice up their love life and keep the romantic fire ablaze, eros or that erotic attachment will eventually fade for one’s partner. It is the love based on principle or the agape love that will prevent a partner from going outside the bonds of marriage for sexual gratification, because that is just the wrong thing to do.

Think, therefore, on the vows made before God and man, and the promise to be faithful. Agape will let your word be your bond. So, while eros slowly fades, let agape rise.

A love that never fails

Since agape is the type of love to do good even when it isn’t deserved, this love, therefore, never fails.

It takes hard work and it may cause an unresponsive partner to respond.

The anecdote is told of a wife who wanted to hurt her partner because he has hurt her. She was advised to start doing all the good things, being kind, patient and all, and then leave him abruptly for him to see how much good he’ll be missing. She did just so. Expecting to hear the wife has left, the advisor was shocked when she told him she found back the man she loved in the person of her very husband, who now started to respond to good with good.

Yes, keep loving by doing good in the hope that good will follow your marriage, and do not repay evil for evil, but conquer the evil with the good. Above all, have love based on principle.

Warrick Lattibeaudiere (PhD), a minister of religion for the past 23 years, lectures full-time in the School of Humanities and Social Sciences at the University of Technology, Jamaica, where he is also director of the Language Teaching and Research Centre.