In Jamaica women do not struggle with landownership rights. We do not have to endure genital mutilation. We do not have arranged marriages. We are free to choose our careers and no one frowns if we leave home before marriage. Nonetheless, patriarchy is alive and well.

On a daily basis most Jamaican women move about their lives and do not even think about a patriarchy. As a group, and as individuals, we are proud and strong. Many of our women raise children without a father present. Car ownership and homeownership come for many women through hard work, throwing “pardner”, borrowing from the bank, remittances, and assistance through an intimate partner. We go about our lives, working hard along the way, and do not recognise the biases which exist that allow for us to be belittled, objectified, and sometimes vilified.

Sadly, the patriarchy is not always maintained by men. It is often our own sisters, mothers, aunts, and female friends who promote and uphold ways of being which do not serve to benefit female members of society. Many of our men do not understand and were not raised to understand why it is not right to engage in certain behaviours. That is one category. There is another category that knows better but chooses to maintain the status quo because it is easier.

In my heart, I wonder which category of men has chosen to not support a woman when she states clearly that she felt harassed by the action of a man. Which category of men tells a woman who feels victimised that she should understand “seh a suh certain man stay”. How could that be a real consideration?

Similarly, which category of women can justify the proven action of any man to ensure they maintain their position within a system which sometimes fights against their own upward mobility? How do we say to each other that what has been received as harassment is not so because much worse is said and done everyday? There is a time when silence is better than speaking words which show that a fear of the patriarchy is stronger than a belief that women have a right to live without harassment.

No victim should need to justify her feelings after being harassed. Let us pause with the gaslighting and the victim-shaming. Let us support each other, even when we do not fully understand or maybe would have experienced the same action differently.

This is not a call to action against men or a call to use the sisterhood to support the notion that men are wicked and bad. No, not in the least! This is a call for us to respect the need for victims to share what they feel they can, versus what we would feel better hearing or seeing. Let us teach our sons how to be appropriate and to never speak or act towards a female in a way they would not a fellow male. Let us guide our fathers, brothers, and husbands as to a better way to relate to us as women.

The world belongs to each human being, no matter the gender. There is room and space for all of us to flourish and to shine, so let us not victimise each other. Let not the desire to maintain the patriarchy divide us any further than it already has across generations.

Natalie Campbell-Rodriques is a senator and development consultant with a focus on political inclusion, governance, gender, and Diaspora affairs. Send comments to the Jamaica Observer or ncampbellrodriq@gmail.com.