A happy ending

Cannot come

In the middle of a story.

— Shakespeare

That quote really got me thinking about all those romantic stories about happy endings and living happily ever. “Yes, the prince took her on his white steed and rode off into the sunset. The story really had a happy ending.”

“So why are you crying?”

“Because I just love to see two people have a happy ending; I wish that was me.”

But the story may end for us, but not for the people in the story, who are just starting another chapter in their lives. What happens after they ride off into the sunset?

Also, be careful how you envy their so-called happy ending, for as Shakespeare said, “But O, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man’s eyes.”

It’s best that you have your own happy ending, find the perfect Mr Right, the prince with the white steed, or in these modern times, a white SUV to drive off with into the sunset.

But be aware, for you may end up having to wash that vehicle on weekends, or take it to be serviced every three months. The point is that happy ending is really the beginning of another chapter in the book of life, and that’s why a true happy ending cannot come in the middle of a story. Maybe the only really happy ending comes at the end of a massage, if so desired, if you catch my drift. Come now. But even that is ephemeral.

What fate awaits that couple as they ride off into the sunset? Will they encounter a cliff, a deep river infested with crocodiles, highway bandits ready to horse-jack them, leaving them stranded with no white steed? Nothing happy about that. Plus, that’s when the cussing starts, for she will scream, “Why did you ride this way, why didn’t you take the other route. Why didn’t you ride faster, why didn’t you get a better horse?”

That’s what we’ll discover today — if there really is a happy ending — right after these responses to what I had to say about ‘Not equal’.

Hi Tony,

When Thomas Jefferson wrote the words, “All men are created equal” in the USA declaration of independence, I believe perhaps he meant that all men are granted certain liberties and freedoms when they were born. But perhaps those were just dreams and wishes, because slaves were not born with liberties and freedoms, and Jefferson owned some of those slaves born in captivity. Maybe men were born equal when they descended from the womb, and some became more equal after that?

Adam

Hey Teerob,

I recall a friend telling me that he heard about the size of a man’s member, and one day they had occasion to pee in an open field. He made the disclaimer that he doesn’t normally look at another man’s privates, but couldn’t help but notice that the man’s reputation was not undeserved. All men were not created equal.

Clive

There are so many sayings about happy endings, such as: “I just want to live happily ever after, every now and then. And if real life was like the movies, I would have lived happily.”

“Once upon a time, I became you and you became me, and we stay together through both tears and laughter, because that’s what they call happily ever after.”

“Were I to tell you that these three lived happily ever after? I will not, for no one ever does, but there was happiness and they did live.”

Ahh, so many sayings about living happily ever after and happy endings, some are beautiful, others hinting of cynicism, but all wax poetic. For some people, living happily ever after is nothing but a fairy tale, for when the reality of life hits you, it can be a rude awakening.

Now, don’t get me wrong, for many people enjoy a great life after they decide to spend the rest of their years together, but rarely if ever do you hear them say that they had a happy ending.

“Oh, I love him, but I’d hardly say that we’re living happily ever after.”

“I guess she is my happy ending, what’d you say honey, am I happy?”

What is being happy though? By definition it says showing pleasure or contentment. So should it therefore follow that couples, after tying the knot, experience pleasure and contentment all the time? And should they? After all, to be in a constant state of happiness or euphoria can’t be healthy.

“I feel so happy I could burst.”

“Chicken merry, hawk deh near.”

Maybe only in heaven, in paradise, in nirvana, in Camelot, do people experience permanent pleasure and contentment. In reality, most persons would become bored and disenchanted with such a state.

That’s why happy endings only occur in the movies, or in romance novels. In real life, it’s the challenges, the ups and downs, the uncertainty that make us stronger, more aware, able to deal with situations head on.

But you can’t tell that to some people, especially women, who are hell bent on a mission to find the ‘right man’ and have a happy ending. What constitutes her happy ending though, is not necessarily what makes him happy. And that’s where the planets collide, for her happiness is going shopping, keeping the house spic and span, looking after the children, going to church.

For him, his happy ending is watching sports on TV, drinking with his male friends, going to sporting occasions, relaxing on the couch, and of course having sex.

“Man, this is the happy ending that I’ve always dreamt of.”

She could say the same thing, “Ah, shopping, doing my hair and nails, having a clean house, my lovely children, I’m truly living happily.”

But hold on to that white steed, you don’t see what a gwaan? What makes him happy and what makes her happy do not coincide or intersect at all. He’s living happily ever after in his own space, and she’s living happily ever after in her own little world.

Their happy ending is on two different planets. I thought that the objective was to live happily ever after together, instead of riding separate white horses. Men complain that, “I was happy before, for I was getting more sex.” While women whine that, “I didn’t know that he would want it so often. I’m not happy about that.”

Surely there can be a middle ground that enables couples to live happily, without being miserable. That’s why actor Chris Colfer said, “Anyone can have a once upon a time or a happily ever after, but it’s the journey between that makes the story worth telling.”

Too often, people focus too much on the destination without actually enjoying the journey. “I want to get married, have children and live happily ever after,” is the dream of many women. But what do they do to achieve that, what are they bringing to the table, or under it?

Interestingly, most men don’t think that way, but just hope for a comfortable life with not too many bills to pay, and a diet of regular sex.

Because of this unsustainable unrealistic goal of a happy ending, many couples feel cheated of the happiness promised to them, robbed of their happy ending.

“This isn’t what I signed up for, where is my happy ending?”

But guess what, happily ever after does exist if you’re a realist and don’t believe in the fairy tales, however Grimm they may be. A happy ending is all relative, depending on who you are. It may be a happy ending for the princess, but not for Rumpelstiltskin. It may be a happy ending for the prince, but not for the dragon that he slew. And as for the troll under the bridge, with no more children to eat, it’s certainly not a happy ending for him.

Living happily ever after is a warm smile from your partner, a gentle touch, a reassuring word, a surprise hug, kissing when leaving and arriving back home. It’s spending time together even if there’s no conversation, watching movies that she likes but you don’t, catering to his whims, even though you’re tired.

A happy ending involves missing each other while apart. No one said that a happy ending meant perfection. Well, actually the romance novels, fairy tales and Hallmark movies do say that, but ignore them, lower your expectations and deal with the reality. Sometimes life does not imitate art.

Here are some rules for a happy ending. Always kiss good morning, say I love you, agree to disagree, absolutely no cheating, remember why you fell in love, cuddle under the sheets, dance when you can, always kiss goodnight.

You haven’t got to do all of that, but even a few can put you on the path to contentment. There really is no true happy ending though, for a happy ending cannot come while the story is still being told.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: The ubiquitous Jamaican patty is famous around the world and is the staple diet of many Jamaicans. It used to be a cheap, make that inexpensive, source of lunch for many people. It’s also an inflationary barometer of the economy, just as the hamburger is in the USA. Patties used to be a poor man’s meal that was also enjoyed by others in the upper strata of society. I love to have my patties on a Saturday. Now, much to my dismay, the patty is going out of reach for many people, as the price has skyrocketed. I used to buy a patty, a cocobread and a drink for under a dollar, while in high school. Now four patties are $1,000. Frightening!