“NO”

— Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act 111

Scene 111, Line 87

“NO.” That must be the shortest Shakespeare quote ever, a simple no. Well, he did say that brevity is the soul of wit. In fact, the attributes to the quote are longer than the quote itself, as they explain in detail where it came from, chapter and verse. A simple no, yet there’s nothing simple about a no, as many men who won’t take no for an answer have discovered.

As far as they’re concerned, no means maybe and maybe, of course, means yes. After all, no woman is going to just blurt out yes if a man propositions her to get down to business with him. She has to be coy, to play the game, has to display a modicum of dignity and respectability about her. That’s why many men think that women have a double language that needs deciphering.

“Yu nuh know say a suh woman stay, dem talk one thing but mean sumting else.”

“Hi babe, will you sleep with me after dinner later?”

“Sure, why not?”

That rarely happens. The usual scenario is:

“Babe, will you sleep with me later?”

“Ah, maybe, let me think about it over dinner.”

That way she leaves the window open, if not the door. But just like how she won’t say yes outright, it’s hardly likely that she’ll say no either, as that may turn the guy off. This confuses many men who lack experience in the ways and language of women and don’t know how to interpret the subtle nuances and innuendo of the female sexual lingo.

This ignorance has got many men into serious trouble, and even landed some behind bars, as they didn’t take no for an answer. No means no, as we’ll decipher right after these responses to what I had to say about ‘Breed plenty’.

Hey Teerob,

I think that you are throwing stones at women who only have one child. When I attended high school, I told my classmates that I would be having four children — two boys and two girls. I even named them, but due to health constraints, I ended up with only one. But seriously, I wish that I had even two. But such is life. I’m happy that I had even one child.

Paulette

Hi Tony,

You touched upon a serious topic in your usual humorous way. Having children is no joke for some people though, and can have serious consequences either way you take it. If you have too many, they are a financial burden, and if you have only one, that child can grow up yearning for a sibling or too spoilt. If you have none and are desperate to have, that can have serious emotional consequences. Believe it or not, sometimes this child-bearing issue can even affect relationships badly. Pickney can be crosses.

Anne-Marie

When does no mean no, and how’s a man supposed to know? You notice that I said man and not woman, as for some strange and perhaps ironic reason, women are the only ones who have the privilege of saying no. Which man is going to say no to a woman, unless he’s not that way inclined? ‘Don we now our gay apparel’ isn’t just a hymn, but a lifestyle for some.

It’s the females of the species who have the privilege of saying no to the opposite sex, and this they do with gusto and relish, whenever and wherever they feel like. Interestingly, they usually say no only after the proceedings have gone on for a while, never up front, as I pointed out before.

It’s usually after the kissing, hugging, caressing, fondling, undressing, that she decides to draw brakes and say “No”. At that point the man is all systems go, hurtling down the track at breakneck speed like a bullet train at 400 miles per hour, and no brakes known to engineering can stop him.

“No? How yu mean no? Are you crazy, I can’t stop now.”

So he continues on his pursuit to heavenly pleasure and ends up in hell, for she really meant no when she said no. Here’s a very interesting titbit though; a woman will have casual sex with a man very early, even on the first date, if she doesn’t plan to be in a serious relationship with him. That’s because, if she planned to have a serious relationship, she wouldn’t want him to think that she’s a loose woman who gives it away freely and early. But she’ll do so with a guy she doesn’t really care about. Now, you see how complicated women can be and why many men cannot navigate the maze of twists and turns that they present?

Saying no is absolute, non-negotiable and final and is the privilege of a woman. And even if the act has begun and the man is going at it like a six-cylinder diesel engine, if she says no, he had better stop. What a cruel and unjust law that must seem, say some men. That being said, some women can be cruel, and use that word as a weapon.

“Watch me and him, I going to start him up and stop him when it sweet him.”

Sometimes we hear stories of men assaulting women and we wonder, “How could that be, how in heaven’s name did they both end up in a dark room together allowing the man to get the opportunity to sexually assault her?” In other words, why did she place herself in that compromising position and then bawl about assault later? Surely, if you put cream at puss mouth him going to lick it, is what people may say.

Well, maybe that’s because the woman may have thought that she really wanted to do it, but after foreplay she had second thoughts and decided to abort the mission. But for some men, that can seem cruel, for it’s like a jumbo jet speeding down the runway, almost at lift-off, at the point of no return, then the control tower yells, “Abort! Abort!”

Alas, it’s too late, and the horse has bolted out of the starting gate. Only a few men would have the presence of mind to stop at that point, and prison is full of many who failed to apply the brakes.

But why do women say no though? Is it simply to torment men and heap sexual misery upon them? Is it to show that they have the power to keep men wanting and hungry for their pleasure and that it’s theirs to give or not give as the case may be?

It’s said that the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, but many men say that it’s women who giveth and taketh away as they see fit.

“Man, having sex is like playing the lotto, chancy.”

Some women will use their sexuality to lure and entrap men, getting them to do their bidding with the promise of pleasure to come, while deep down, in the back of their head, the word no is burnished in her mind, even as her body gives the illusion of saying yes.

The words temptress, tantalise, coy, seductress, coquettish, teaser, are usually attributed to females, for they fall under the umbrella of the women who advertise yes, but really mean no when the evening is done.

“Mr Brown, why didn’t you stop when the lady said no?”

“I didn’t think that she meant it, Your Honour. We were both naked on the bathroom floor as Shaggy said.”

Some women do play silly mind games and get men into a whole heap of trouble. Maybe there should be some law to protect hapless men who didn’t take no for an answer, such as extenuating circumstances or guilty with explanation.

“You Honour, I took her out to dinner, went back to her place, got busy and then she decided to say no.”

“Extenuating circumstances. I find you guilty, but I also find her guilty for sexual cruelty.”

Maybe if there was such a law, more women would stop leading men down the garden path and there would be consequences for their action, or inaction.

If you think about it, it’s hardly likely that a man is going to force himself on a woman if, from the beginning of the evening, she expresses that sex is not on the agenda. Of course, I’m not referring to those pervert rapists who take it by force, no matter what the woman says at any time. That’s a totally different matter. I’m referring to when the woman has the ability, privilege and choice to say no and really means it.

Most acts of rape are committed by someone known to the victim. Date rape is real. For some men, no means maybe, for others, no means yes, but few men take no to mean no.

“I didn’t think that she was serious when she said no, so I went right ahead.”

“No is an extreme sentence in itself. No means no, and when somebody says it, you need to stop.” — Amitabh Bachchan

“No means no, it doesn’t mean, ‘convince me.’ And there’s no need to act like a child because you did not get what you want.”

“No means no, no may sometimes means yes, depending on the context, and who the person is.” — Viras Chandra

‘NO’ Adverb. It is what it is, no means no.’

So that Shakespeare quote at the top of the page was spot on, succinct, terse and to the point. No matter how you slice and dice it, what it comes down to is that no means no. Gentlemen, ignore that at your peril.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

Footnote: There’s always talk about employment and unemployment, but truth is, not everyone wants to be employed. There are some people who definitely do not want to work, even as there are many who desperately seek to be gainfully employed. Try to give some people work and they’ll either show up late or not show up at all. And if they do arrive, they’ll leave and never return, making all sorts of excuses. Every day there are ads from companies seeking people to be hired, with little or no result. When you speak to some employers, it’s the same story, “Nobody wants to work.” Why is this so, is it low wages or a get-rich-quick mentality?