PROFESSIONAL basketball player Tristan Thompson's public declaration to Khloe Kardashian last week, “I have the utmost respect and love for you,” was described by social media users as peak narcissism, said by a notorious cheat who had marked his disdain for the mother of his child, more than once, by willingly choosing to disrespect her over and over again.
His apology came after DNA tests proved that he had fathered a child with another woman, just the latest in cheating and paternity scandals that had him admit that Kardashian — with whom he shares a three-year-old daughter — doesn't deserve the “heartache and humiliation” he had caused her.
Kardashian, meantime, said she was “focusing on her own happiness”, an expression many a woman has used to hide their hurt after encountering experiences with men like Thompson — the kind who will cheat no matter what, and will leave in their wake a string of heartbreak that will take the affected women years to heal from.
What's been your experience with your own version of Tristan? The women below share what it was like to date a narcissist, and recover from the experience.
We dated for three years and he acted as a father figure to my son — in fact he was the only dad my son knew, since his bio dad had died. This man attended and planned my son's birthday parties, gave lavish presents, and was at my house all the time, so much so that it was like we were living together. He wasn't just in my life, he was a huge part of my five-year-old son's life as well — and I mean he would pick him up from school, go to PTA meetings, and watch him when I had to work. Then one day, out of the blue, he just told me that he was dating his “soulmate” and our relationship wasn't working out, but we could remain friends. Literally two months after that my son had to have serious surgery, and I asked him if he could come to the hospital with me for emotional support. His exact words were, “That would not be appropriate.” That cut me deep. He also explained that he didn't see the big deal because it's not like my son had bonded with him. I tell you, it took months for my son to stop asking for him, and I don't think anyone can explain the kind of hurt I went through where not only was I discarded, but he just tossed my son aside, too, like he meant nothing to him.
I think the emotional disconnect is the worst thing — one minute they're professing their love, and the next minute they just shut you out, like you're garbage. I had this experience with a man who chased me, let me compromise my standards, let me spend a lot of money on him, and then I started hearing stories that he was with other women. And when I confronted him he just said, “So what? We were not even together like that.” This is the same man who was telling me how he rated me, wanted me to have his child, and wanted to put a ring on me. Then suddenly we weren't even together!
My ex had a whole other family outside and I had no clue, and he was just working the two of us like we were puppets. I only found out because there was some issue with his health insurance at work and I saw his other beneficiaries. I was shocked because there was no sign at all. He did apologise though, to his credit, but he moved out soon after because he said I was “brukking his vibes” with the way I was “acting all dramatic” over something that was “natural for men to do”.
Try not to put your trust in any man because they will consistently let you down. Even the ones who are nice initially. I've been married two times and it's all the same thing — they start off nice, and then they change, like snakes. My last husband was cavorting with the neighbour and I had no idea until she got pregnant and the other neighbours started to talk because her man was overseas. When the baby was born — dead stamp of my husband — that's when he cracked and confessed. But he spent months convincing me that he didn't go there, and 'took God off the cross' that he was being framed.