Skip to main content
Girl, it's OK (to be selfish) - All Woman - Jamaica Observer
All Woman

Girl, it's OK (to be selfish)


PEOPLE have a way of trying to devalue a woman's worth when she fails to meet certain standards — some absolutely senseless — and many women will feel inadequate if they think they've failed at some achievements, or fail to reach certain milestones by a certain time.

Something as simple as the age one gets married or has children is often up for discussion and rebuke, but it's time women knew that some of the things they've been criticised for are totally OK. Because there's no point in living your life to please others, when it's the only life you have to live.

So remember, it's OK:

To have children when you want to

Whether this is later, after you have built a career, or earlier, before you do college, the choice of when to have children is yours and yours alone. Anything is possible with the advances in technology, and everything is also possible once you're committed to achieving it.

For organised religion to not be your thing

Many women go to, and stay in church because it seems like the thing to do, even when good sense or personal preferences scream otherwise. It's OK to leave, and forge your own personal relationship with God, even if you feel tied down because you have done the whole baptism, church membership and choir-singing shtick.

To seek opportunities to improve yourself

Whether it's marrying for immigration status, deliberately seeking out someone who can help you financially, or leaving a job you love for one that pays more, there's nothing wrong with seeking opportunities to improve yourself and your life.

To not want to be around toxic people, even if they're family

Christmas is coming, and for some people the holidays come with a feeling of dread as we force ourselves to be around family members we may not like, or who mean us no good, just because they're family. It's OK to sit this one out, to WhatsApp them Merry Christmas, and to not show up for the fakery because you know the family is toxic the other 364 days of the year.

To use your horoscope to explain why you're the way you are

So you're emotionally distant, socially awkward and horrible with money — it may not be your fault if you're a Capricorn. Don't let anyone tell you that the stars don't have a lot to do with the way your present and future are aligned, because you know, and have experienced that they totally do.

To propose if he's hedging

So you've been with him two years, six months and four days, and he's still not making the move to make an honest woman out of you. It's perfectly OK to act in your own interests, get down on one knee and propose, and not wait for him to figure out what he's doing. The worst that could happen is that he could say no — and then you can just move to Plan B, which may include hedging your bets elsewhere.



1. We welcome reader comments on the top stories of the day. Some comments may be republished on the website or in the newspaper · your email addresses will not be published.

2. Please understand that comments are moderated and it is not always possible to publish all that have been submitted. We will, however, try to publish comments that are representative of all received.

3. We ask that comments are civil and free of libellous or hateful material. Also please stick to the topic under discussion.

4. Please do not write in block capitals since this makes your comment hard to read.

5. Please don't use the comments to advertise. However, our advertising department can be more than accommodating if emailed:

6. If readers wish to report offensive comments, suggest a correction or share a story then please email:

7. Lastly, read our Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy

comments powered by Disqus