OFTEN we men believe that the way to a woman’s heart is through wealth. But that’s not it at all. Wealth may get her attention, because of her need for security. Yes, women need the security that comes from financial stability, it’s a big issue for them. And yes, women often require any man they’ll date to be financially stable before they’d consider him as a possible suitor. But ultimately money is not the way to a woman’s heart. Women won’t be won by wealth. As silly as it sounds, money is too impersonal. There has to be something more. So what is it?
I recall a young man who was madly in love with a young lady. He told me how they were seeing each other for some time. I was surprised when he, a taxi driver that I’d use frequently, told me later that his girlfriend had a relationship with another man at the same time they were seeing each other. He told me that the guy helped her with her rent and other expenses, but she didn’t love him. I was lost in confusion for a while as he explained how everything worked. It seemed the man with the money was convenient to her, because of her expenses. But her real relationship was with this young man. Note, the guy with money did not have her heart, and as soon as she could, she’d wave him off and settle with the taxi driver.
Well then, what’s the way to a woman’s heart? The answer is through spoken words. It’s all about words, not wealth. The Bible says, “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned” (Songs of Solomon 8:7). It means that cash can’t convince her to love you. Cash alone won’t keep her. But the right words will. “I sleep, but my heart waketh: it is the voice of my beloved that knocketh, saying, Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled: for my head is filled with dew, and my locks with the drops of the night” (Songs of Solomon 5:2). The woman is caught up with the voice and words of the smooth-talking suitor. The way to a woman’s heart is through her ears.
This is the reason men who are called players learn to perfect what they say to the women they are trying to play. They whisper those sweet nothings and get everything from them. They make promises to give the world, but more so, they compliment and reassure. As with the ‘Beloved’ in the scripture, they use endearing words like, “My love, my dove”. Players will manipulate women through their words, because it works. “He said he loved me and that I meant the world”, it’s recited by many heartbroken women. And I’m confident when I say that in successful relationships, women can very often recall something moving that their male partner said to them that won them over. They can recall those words that hooked them.
The evident challenge for men seeking to close the deal and secure their crush’s heart is to find those right words. The right words, like a magician’s spell, can pull that man from the friend zone into romance. Abracadabra and you’re the one. The use of ‘right words’ is the reason Jamaicans coined the term “lyrics”. That’s when a man has figured out how to speak smartly to a woman he likes. She becomes putty in his hands only because of the words in her ears.
Note that there won’t be any one set of words that will do the trick for every woman. But there are a set of words that will do the trick for any woman.
Rev Christopher Brodber is a counsellor and minister of religion. E-mail him at email@example.com or connect on FB – Christopher.brodber; Twitter – @Chrisbrodber or IG – christopherbrodber.