The inspiration of this article comes from YouTuber Austin Holleman and the "Passport Bros". Apparently, there is a movement of black men traveling outside "the matrix", aka (North America & G1 countries) to find love abroad, often with women outside their race. I get it, every black man wants to be loved and appreciated. Above all that, every black man wants to feel like a man. Just understand this black women. We love you and forever cherish you. I understand you are frustrated with this trend. You have to let the black man (the right black man) lead and bask in his masculinity.
Exhibit A would be an older female relative of mine I will call "Carla". My whole childhood and most of my adult years she preached the value of black love and relationships. "Hey Menelik, don't you mix up with dem white gyal ya know! Soon as tings nah gwaan bless, dem quick fi call police 'pon you and call you n****." Ha, ha...oh Aunt Carla. Life is funny though, sometimes your life takes compromises. As Andre 3000 (of Oukast fame) states, "You can plan a picnic, but you can't predict the weather". Turns out Aunt Carla found her an affluent older Eastern European with a downtown condo after she divorced her Jamaican husband. Bonus is she gets to rent her home and move in with him.
When I caught wind of this, I needed an explanation. One night while she dropped me off home I asked, "Why did you give up on the black man?". She looked me in my eye and stated, "Jermaine, I really tried but at this age with what I have to lose I can't entertain it. I made a comfortable life for myself and there weren't any black options in my tax bracket".
As I write this I shed tears. To think someone I admired was so cold and saw the black man's value only in terms of his money. As the years went by and I would see her at family gatherings, her glow was gone. More vacations and financial perks, but she forgot to calculate the intangibles. That "Ragamuffin love" was gone. You naw get di "agony-agony-agony". But more important than that, you set an example that money is more valuable than love while for decades you sold me on the value of black relationships & community. Shame on you!
Black women, I bring this to story up to say no black man (or any human being) wants to feel underappreciated and undervalued. Don't push us away. Respect the black man's masculinity and let him know you do. You know what we face out here in society. The black man has been branded a losing bet from day one unless he can sell drugs, rap, hoop, or catch a football. If the black woman is not going to see the value that we have, what chance does the black man have to be successful? Here's a wake up call to black women, if you're not willing to place that bet, some other woman is. Cherish your black man and let him know he is loved.
February 2023 was a stand out February for me as far the past decade goes. I met a black queen on Tinder. We went to Joey's Valentine's Day weekend Yorkdale location. Let me tell you, it was the most expensive dinner I ever paid for but it was worth every penny. I admit I have dated women outside of my race, but the idea that I could possibly father black children with a black woman made me smile. As fate has it, I'd scheduled the date originally with a Latina three weeks prior, but as the time led up to the date I could tell this wasn't gonna work. Texting was sporadic and no vibes. Eventually we ghosted each other. The day before my Joey reservation, I matched with a black queen from Scarborough. Five minutes into our conversation, an e-reminder popped about Joey's. Intrigued by the timing, I shot my shot and asked to take her out and she said yes. She was almost 25 minutes late but once that conversation started flowing, it's like I felt I had known her in a past life. Love is love but it's deeper when you share the culture. It's like icing on an already dope cake. Let's pray we got out again.
To all the black women mad at "Passport Bros", you catch more flies with honey. Let the black man know you appreciate him. I issue a #WeLoveYouBlackKing challenge to women. Approach a random black man you don't know and say, "You are loved and greatly appreciated my black king". Upon hearing this, black men respond and say, "As are you, my black queen". Let a black man know you have his back and are thinking of him. It means so much more coming from you. You birthed and nurtured us. Let a black man be a man. Understand the burdens he faces in society and be a peace to him and an asset to his life, not a liability.
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