MATE poaching is the official name for it, according to the National Institutes of Health. This is a form of infidelity that occurs when one partner knowingly attracts the mate of another with the intention of starting a sexual and/or romantic relationship with this individual. In Jamaica we call it “take people man”, and women on all rungs of the social ladder have been guilty of it.

Why do they pursue married men? These women respond to the men who have dogged them in Strange encounters of the female kind, published recently, to tell why.

Keneisha, 30:

I like the competition. I know psychologists would probably say I have daddy issues but having a man give me attention is a certain type of rush. In a way, also, it’s a boost to my self-esteem to know that I can easily take a man from someone else, especially when the women are cocky about the fact that they’re wife material.

Tash, 38:

Money — married men have a lot more to lose so they’re not stingy with the money. It’s like they’re trying to pay you off, or pay you to keep their secrets. Plus, they’re more established.

Samantha, 35:

It’s the forbidden fruit — plus we see that they’re caring and loving and good parents. It’s like having the evidence right in front of you, a five-star rating, without having to test it out first. With other men you never know what you’re getting and whether they will make good partners and parents. With married men it’s right there for you to see, like a ready-made perfect man — except for the wife part.

Nichelle, 31:

People kinda force you to be in a relationship and force you to have a man, even when you’d rather be alone. By dating someone who’s taken you can show them that you’re not an old maid, and that someone of the opposite sex actually comes to your house and finds you attractive, and then you can also have your freedom and peace when he goes home.

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