THEY say women "leave before they leave", meaning that a woman will quit a relationship emotionally long before she physically leaves. And when she does leave, there's no going back. Men's behaviours, on the other hand, haven't been studied as much, and so a man leaving is often seen as a betrayal to a loyal woman because it's not accepted that men have the kind of emotions that would compel this action.
But these three men say they knew the exact moment they would leave, and though for some it took a while to actually go, there was no turning back once they hit that emotional milestone.
There was no reciprocity in the relationship — I would give her my all, down to spending my last dollar on presents, and everything for her was less than. She was also selfish; it was all about her, and she was very emotional. One day she wrote me this long text about the things she didn't like about me, and criticised the fact that I had bought her a cheap gift for our anniversary instead of taking her to a hotel. I wrote her another long text listing all I had done for her, and how she never reciprocated, and all she said was "OK". That's when I checked out, and I moved out a few weeks later.
I do back-breaking manual labour, and she would get up in the mornings and make breakfast and lunch for the kids and coffee for herself, and never once asked if she could make me a sandwich. Many evenings I would also have to come home and cook, while she sat on the couch watching videos. The final straw was one day I came home and she was baking, and I felt so excited. But then she took a video of the cake she made, and posted on her WhatsApp status that she was baking for this dude at work, who was celebrating his birthday. Now this woman had never baked for me in my life, and wouldn't even grant me the courtesy of breakfast, yet she was using my gas and grocery items, baking for some man at work. I just bided my time after that, and rented a place, and one weekend when she was in the country, I moved out.
She totally stopped sleeping with me. There was always some excuse — the kids, she was tired, she didn't shave ... all the romance just stopped. At first I thought it was PPD [post-partum depression] and was very attentive, but then our last kid turned two, and she was still treating me like a leper. Then she bought a toy, and how I found out was that one night I heard a buzzing beside me, and I looked, and there she was using it on herself, though I was right there. The disrespect was unforgivable, and though I'm still at the house because of the kids and the mortgage, I checked out long ago and stopped asking for affection long ago.