She cooked, and he’s hooked
Finding the way to a man’s heart
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I’VE always heard it said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Meaning, if a woman feeds a guy well, he’ll fall for her. Well, it sounded ridiculous to me initially, but now I’m older. Now I think that there may have been something to the saying indeed. It may be that something about our composition as men causes us to get attracted to women who feed us with good food. So a woman who cooks well may truly have a big advantage over a woman who can’t cook or a woman that won’t cook. It is what it is!

I recall years ago not being romantically interested in a particular young lady. For me, she was just a friend. She was attractive, she was smart, but she was in the friend zone. I wasn’t interested in her like that, she was just one of the crew. And then she began bringing food she’d made. The lights came on. Eureka, I saw the light. And she was standing in it, glowing. Yes, I began having thoughts, “could she be the one?” I knew she’d liked me more than a friend. But now, hey presto, I realised I liked her.

I dare say, it was the power of good food. Her cooking caught me. Well, that’s my experience, for what it’s worth. My stomach influenced my heart.

Well, doesn’t the Bible give some credence to this, as it expounds on the virtuous woman? The lady who excels above others as a great mate is handy with food preparation. Proverbs 31 sets the stage in verse 10, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies”. It goes on to say, in verse 15, “She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household… ” Meaning, that she gets up early to prepare food for her household. She feeds her husband and those in her home well. It says her husband “praises her”. Itemising how amazing she is, the scripture includes this issue of her preparing meals. She cooked, and he’s hooked. Cooking may very well be for a woman, the way to a guy’s heart.

Here’s something I have found peculiar too. I have heard women say, “I just love it when my man can eat” and, “I just love it when he eats everything I cook”, or, “I don’t like a man that can’t eat good food” — referring to a man’s ability to eat lots of food that’s been cooked. Some women feel satisfied or dissatisfied with a man based on how much or how well he eats her food. Some women are offended if their men don’t display how well they enjoy eating their cooking. They are possibly concerned about losing attraction and appeal, all because of how the men respond to their cooked food. Cooked food seems very important, apparently, to guys and the girls trying to love on them.

Now, with the changing times and women not being able to display culinary skills as in the past, is this affecting women’s ability to hook a guy? Is it that the present demand on the modern working woman is impacting her ability to give her crush a eureka moment? Dating may be evolving to eating out or ordering in, for working people. Do women still ‘carry their cooking’?

I’m all for guys cooking for their girls too. A man should be well-rounded enough to handle or share household responsibilities. There are several guys who cook much better than their partners too, and their relationships work very well. Yet, a guy who’s a chef can still get hooked by a girl who cooks for him. Now, I doubt that women are affected by food the way we men are. The way to a woman’s heart is different, but we’ll talk about that next week.

Rev Christopher Brodber is a counsellor and minister of religion. E-mail him at

Christopher BRODBER

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