Signs your ex isn't coming back and you need to move on

IT'S embarrassing really, that tendency we have to hang on to things even when we know they're bad for us. We hang on to relationships that aren't going anywhere, in part because when we commit to someone, it's the hardest thing to uncommit, and start that whole love journey all over again.

And so, when the grim reaper turns up to pronounce last rites on a relationship, hardly anyone accepts the death willingly. Some of us weep and moan, some of us beg and plead, and some of us reject the obvious, and try any ways and means to keep that relationship going, even when all that remain are embers.

Often, we're assured by the tiny, tiny percentage of people who do get back together, and it's that hope we cling to, that the object of our affection will have a change of heart, and be in our arms again. But there are some signs that you shouldn't ignore, that will indicate, in no uncertain terms, that your time is up, there's no chance, no way in hell, that there will be a reconnection. Counsellor and content creator Imani Blake says these are the signs your ex isn't coming back, and you need to move on.

There's no communication

No matter how many times you call, text, and stalk his IG, there's no response from him. If your ex rarely or never reaches out to you, or has blocked you and your 13 fake accounts, it could indicate they've moved on.

They're dating someone else

It's the worst sign — taking up with someone else means that they're focused on another person who is not you. If they've started dating someone new, and are not hiding it, it's a strong sign they're moving on.

There's emotional distance

Remember when you could read each others minds and thoughts and finish each other's sentences? If they seem distant or uninterested in reconnecting emotionally, it's a sign they might not be interested in reconciling.

They've made it clear

They haven't minced words about where you stand, in fact, they have spelled it out, more than once. If they've explicitly told you they don't want to get back together, take their words seriously.

They make no effort for you

A person who's interested in you will go all ends of the earth to make you happy. If your ex isn't putting in any effort to maintain a connection or work on the relationship, it's likely they're not interested in a reconciliation.

Changed circumstances

Life is all about change; if things remain the way they are, then no one really progresses. If your ex has made major life changes, like moved to a new parish or country, or started a new job, it might indicate they're focused on their new life, and you're part of the old.

"It's important to prioritise your own well-being and consider moving forward," Blake said. "Of course, it will be hard, but time and patience are the fixer of all things, so just know that you'll survive."

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