The girl with no friends
Javier is a 20-something-year-old bachelor, an expert in the nature of the modern man. Week by week, he will clue you in on what men really want – and what really goes on in those heads of theirs.
SO you meet her and you start hanging out every now and then, and before you know it, now and then turns to practically every convenient opportunity. All this time you’re saying to yourself, ‘Wow, she’s always so available for me. I mean she must really like me’, and you don’t have any reason to doubt that.
Every now and then when she wants to spend the entire night talking about whatever, you’ve had to cancel because you have to check in with your independent life friends, and although that never seems to be the case with her, you’re not concerned. And why should you be? A hot, available girl is into you.
About a month into it a pesky little thought creeps around to the back of your brain. It says ‘Hmm, not even a politician at election time is this available, doesn’t she have any other, waaait a minute’. And that’s when everything starts to piece itself together.
She’s never too busy for you, she has never mentioned any other friends of hers to you, in fact, every time you hang out she’s never even let on that there were any other people occupying her time but you. Could she be blowing her friends off to be with you? Nope, she never had any friends to begin with. She’s the (drum roll please), girl with no friends.
While there is still much scientific debate on the subject, the jury is still out as far as we relationship experts are concerned, about whether there are more pros than cons or vice versa for dating the girl with no friends.
As much as some men may be alright with it, generally speaking, I can’t think of any guy who isn’t the least bit disturbed after finding out that his girlfriend has no other friends. It is a thing as rare as a diamond – if diamonds are rare that is; not so sure since I saw Blood Diamonds – to find a man who has not even one person they call a brethren if not a friend. We’re like wolves, we roll in packs, and although there are some lone wolves out in the wilderness, whenever they howl at the moon there’s always some other wolf howling back in the distance (I was trying to be profound but I didn’t even buy it myself).
The point is, we men always have at least one person who we can relate to. Women on the other hand are much different beings. For them, not having friends is always an applicable option. If they don’t want to have friends then they just say ‘I don’t think I want any friends today, or forever’ and that’s that. Some women change friends like they change shoes. I never understood it and I guess I never will, but I’m not really that interested. I’ll just add that to my list of reasons why women are ‘weird’.
Of course there are a lot of pros to having a girl with no friends as your girlfriend, but there are converse sides and those kinda suck.
Pro # 1: She’s not needy.
Because she is used to being by herself, she won’t get so attached to you that she feels the need to have to be around you all the time to feel needed and appreciated. That said, you don’t have to expect her to give you a hard time if you’re just not in the mood to see her on any given day.
Con #1: Her independent spirit
When she is that aloof and independent it will be a very difficult task to get her to commit. In fact, a guy should get it in his mind that he has his work cut out for him when he is going after a girl like this ’cause she has every reason to not want him in her life, and if necessary drop him from her life. So if the prospect of a long-term chase doesn’t interest you, then you’re wasting your time.
Some girls don’t have any friends because they don’t play very nice with other girls and believe men are only good in relationships, which leads us to our next pro and con situation.
Pro #2: She’ll get along with your
male friends Some girls have the rare ability to get along better with men than women and this is a pro because you can always get her to hang out with your friends and it won’t be a problem.
Con #2: Girl fights.
She might try to start conflicts with your female friends or relatives because a girl like her is a ticking time bomb when it comes to all females she will have to interact with. This might leave you in those awkward situations when you have to choose between friend and woman (which should be no contest by the way).
There are those basket cases that have no friends because, well, they’re not capable of being devoted to more than one person at a time.
Pro #3: She is ultra devoted.
She will be the Martha Stewart of relationships as far as you’re concerned. She will be doting, and will go out of her way to ensure that all your needs are catered to.
Con #3: She expects nothing less
from you.
Us regular people are prone to fluctuations, and that also manifests itself in our relationships. There are days when we will feel like giving our significant other the royal treatment and other days when we don’t feel it that much, not to mention all the other relationships we have to work at on a daily basis such as those with our friends and family.
Consequently, we can’t expect to give or get the royal treatment every day. But with the no-friends girl it doesn’t work like that. She’s got all the time in the world for you and so giving you the royal treatment is no big deal, but when you can’t continuously reciprocate her standards of treatment then you’re in for a bumpy ride.