Neressa Graham, 100, makes nothing bother her

FAMILY members of Neressa Graham, who celebrated her 100th birthday on October 18, strongly believe that because she does not worry about things that would generally affect others, she has experienced long life.

“She live this long because she has never made anything bother her up to this day, no matter what happen,” the centenarian’s eldest grandchild 46-year-old Garfield Peart told the Jamaica Observer on Thursday. “When grandfather died she didn’t cry, she didn’t do anything, that’s how she has been ever since. No matter what, it doesn’t bother her.

“January made one year since she lost her leg and she didn’t really worry about losing it,” said Graham’s son, Azariah Graham, 59, who journeyed from England where he lives, for his mother’s birthday. “She don’t worry about anything,” he went on.

Born in Chantilly, Manchester on October 18, 1914, the centenarian grew up with her sole sibling, Leford, and parents Georgiana Campbell and Charles Webster. She attended the Zion Hill Baptist School in Bombay, Manchester.

“Me and my brother used to play cricket. I was a little tomboy,” Graham said, laughing. “I used to climb tree, pick orange and tangerine.”

And that ‘tomboy’ attitude was still a part of Graham’s way of life until she was in her 80s and had to be encouraged by family members to stop climbing trees.

“I remember coming here from Canada one day and when I call grandma I hear her answer but I couldn’t see her,” Peart, who journeyed from Canada to be with his grandmother, recalled. “The house was open but she was not inside. When I listened I realise that she was in the top of a tall pear tree that was next door. I asked her what she was doing in the tree and why she didn’t get somebody to pick the pears for her, and she said, ‘den who mi fi get fi pick them? Mi nuh have nobody to pick dem and mi want the pear’,” Peart stated.

The centenarian recalled that when she completed school she learnt dressmaking but did not take it up as a profession and only sew for family members and friends.

She took up higglering as a profession.

“I used to go to the market and sell. I used to sell food like ripe banana, plantain and so on at Mandeville and Spaulding markets,” she said.

In 1948 she married Ruben Graham whom she met at a harvest hosted by her church. The union produced three children, one of whom has since died. Ruben, who started as a shoemaker, later became a farmer and a butcher. He died in 2003.

“The only place I loved to go when I was young was church,” Graham said. “I was saved from 1928. My church was Zion Hill Baptist and afterwards I went to Blue Mountain Congregational Church, then from there to Mandeville Baptist Church.”

Graham, who once sang on her church choir, still attends church regularly.

“I take her to church every Sunday,” Graham’s grand-niece Denise McCurchin said. “Since she lost her leg you would think that she wants help to come out the car into the wheelchair and out of the wheelchair into the car, but she is very strong, she always tries to help herself same way. As long as she has something to hold onto she don’t want you to help her,” McCurchin said. “She is independent, and that stands out to me, it encourages me to see that at her age she can help herself.”

Graham said that though things were hard back then, people were sincere.

“When I was younger things were very hard. I know things are hard now, but back then people were more honest with one another. They were not as wicked as now.”

But while Graham never allowed things to bother her, she was still bent on discipline.

“She very strict – but is one time grandma ever beat me,” Peart recalled. “She beat me ’cause me ‘facety’ with my mother. I was a little boy then… mommy come and giving me something to eat and I said ‘mine you poison me, mi nuh want nothing from you to eat’ so she (grandma) whop me. I was seven or eight at the time.”

Peart said that Graham was someone who would talk to them about wrong and right and ensured that they grew up in church.

“Because a the way how she grow us we never get out of line,” he said. “Everything I know she teach me … every earthly thing.”

Graham’s son, Azariah, noted that he couldn’t have had a better mom.

“She always love me, comfort me, and do everything that is possible. She always care about us. She is just the best mom in the world.”

His sister, Delores Graham, 65, said that while her mom was nice and quiet, she was also a no-nonsense person.

“I got flogging – but not plenty,” the centenarian’s daughter said as she laughed. “I was the rudest one of the three. I was the tomboy. We used to go by our neighbour’s home, which is grandpa’s nephews and nieces, and we would want to stay at the home and so we would get flogging for that. She was the father and the mother at the same time because my father went to England. Mommy went abroad from 1953 to 1956 to take care of us for college. But we were left with her cousins that grew up with her who were very old and had to take care of their children and us. So mommy returned to take care of all

of us.”

She said that her father returned in 1964 and never went back.

Graham’s first of 17 great-grandchildren, Demaro Peart, 23, recalled the earlier days growing up with ‘grandma’.

It’s always a pleasure being around grandma because we can sit down and talk,” Demaro said. “Back in the days when grandma had her little peas farm she would want us to beat peas. We as young kids just kinda wanted to slacken off and come in to watch little TV, so we would hide and run come in and grandma would sneak in and ‘blow’ on you leg. But even though we slacken off and she slap us, even she would laugh. So it was just like a joy for her, it was not like she would get mad and cuss, no, she is not the kind of person to cuss. Even if she ask you to do something and you don’t do it … no quarrelling and you and grandma good like that again.”

Demaro said that he, along with his grandma, would pick pears which she would sell.

“Even though she could do without that she always wanted to stay active and so she would go with her basket and sell some pear. That was when she was in her 90s. It’s just because of her foot why she not doing it again. I can remember at one point when she was about 98 we were here and it was me and her alone and we had some peas plant (in the yard) and we have this person who would come and weed it for us. But grandma take up her hoe and went over there and gone weed. Even when we would stay away from that part, she don’t stay away, she wanted to do it. She always wanted to deal with her thing herself.”

Graham, who was described as humorous and always making others laugh, is said to always have a story to tell. She was also described as someone who is always happy, laughing and loves to sing and recite.

“She is just comforting to live with and be around,” the youngster, who has been living with his great grandmother since he was 10 years old, said. “You see when me and her are alone here? Those are the times me and her can have a little personal talk. She would tell me ’bout grandpa and when she was a little girl. Grandma is always jovial, always fun, and always fun to be around, there is never a dull moment with grandma.”

Graham, who now lives in Manchester with her daughter and two great grandchildren, has seven grandchildren, 17 great grandchildren and two great great grandchildren.