Beaten into submission

November 25, International Day to End Violence Against Women, marked the start of 16 days of global activism, until December 10, to halt the gross violation of women’s human rights that affects at least one in three women and girls worldwide. The colour orange has been chosen by the United Nations to symbolise a brighter future without violence against women and the 16 days of activism is a time to galvanise action to end violence against women and girls around the world.

This week we continue our focus on the issues affecting women.

MAKALIA, a Christian, got married at 20 years old. Her husband, also 20, was not baptised, but had been saved and had shown an interest in the church. He would worship with her every Sunday, and so they tied the knot, full of love and bright hopes for the future.

The ‘happily ever after’ lasted a grand total of three months. In month four, Makalia said, the relationship entered another realm.

“It was as if someone used a remote and fast-forwarded me to a different world,” she recounted.

She said from there on, into the next two years of her marriage, she would suffer immensely.

“He would beat me every single day. If his dinner wasn’t ready, he would beat me. If his clothes weren’t ironed properly, he would beat me. I began anticipating it, even when I tried my best to remain positive.”

She said the man who had proclaimed his love for her God started having an issue with her church attendance.

“Church became an issue and he stopped me from going. He would say he’s now the head of my life and I should stop putting God and church before him. When I said, ‘How dare you’, he hit me hard. He said he was never a Christian and he put up the pretence to make sure he won me over. He would tell me that wives are supposed to submit to the will of their husbands, but I knew what I went through was not of God.”

Luckily for Makalia, she had a mentor who offered counselling, helped her to leave, and eventually get a divorce.

A 2012 study — The battered woman: The attitude and response of the church –conducted by Reverend Ian Muirhead of the non-denominational Upper Room Community Church on Shortwood Road, St Andrew, sought to define how teens in the church (ages 12-14) perceived violence against women, as well as the prejudices and mindsets within the church community that foster violence against women.

The results pointed to a belief system which supported men using violence to discipline their spouses.

The study showed more men than women saying that they were supportive of attitudes justifying physical abuse of women, referring to a passage of scripture in Ephesians 5, “wives submit to your husbands”.

Muirhead conducted his research among Corporate Area churches over a six-month period in 2008 as part of his theology thesis. The research showed a tolerance, even acceptance, among many church members for women to be punished by their husbands.

Punishment is a word Landie can define with her eyes closed.

Forced into marriage by her pastor because she had just given her life to God and could not continue living in sin, she recalls one particular brutal beating at the hands of her new husband.

Shortly after their quickie marriage, she was required to travel abroad for business, and soon returned to the island with gifts for her three children.

When her husband realised that she had brought back nothing for him, he erupted.

He hit her hard, sending her flying across the dining table, breaking it in two. She was accused of cheating. Hubby, on the other hand, went to church where he publicly painted a picture of a cheating wife who had taken her kids and left.

According to United Nations statistics, up to 70 per cent of women experience violence in their lifetime and the most common form is physical violence inflicted by an intimate partner, with women beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused.

Violence against women is not confined to a specific culture, region or country, or to particular groups of women within a society, but the roots of violence lie in persistent discrimination against women.

For church wives, help can be received at local churches, Family life Ministries, or private counsellors. Stemming from a high-level breakfast with government officials on November 25, women were encouraged to speak up and speak out and champion the cause to end what was described as a global pandemic.