Signs he’s lying to you about cheating

SOME men have become professional liars, meaning that for women, seeing beyond the facade will prove to be difficult.

The once twitching eyes, shuffling feet, and beads of sweat dripping from the brows are no longer tell-tale signs of a seasoned liar who has mastered the art of disguise, meaning you’ll have to dig deeper if you really want to know the truth.

Counselling psychologist Dr Ivret Williams told All Woman that when a woman suspects a case of infidelity, it’s difficult to say for sure that the man is guilty unless the evidence is clear as day, because over the years men have learnt the tricks of the trade with hiding their unfaithfulness.

“Men are professional liars and it’s hard to know. Women will say, ‘OK, I’m going to look into his eyes because usually when people are lying they break eye contact, but some men have been doing this for years and they know the tricks of the trade and what to say and what not to say, and how to control body movements.”

Williams explained that before a woman suspects that her partner is cheating, there are certain things that will point her in that direction.

“The suspicion comes when things he used to do, he doesn’t do them anymore,” Williams said. “He might stop bringing you flowers, taking you out for dinner, fall short on finances, and you see money being drawn from a joint account and there is nothing to show where it went. That is a key factor as in many relationships and infidelity cases the man may be giving money to another woman.”

What’s worse is that confrontation will hardly ever bring out the truth and Williams said men will not willingly own up to infidelity.

“Some men prefer to deny the infidelity and then end the relationship rather than to own up and go through the process of reconciliation and healing of the relationship,” she said.

However, she explained that some will say yes and be apologetic, but the majority will say no, because they think if they confess, their women will never allow them to live it down, as the trust and covenant are broken.

However, according to Williams, there are certain signs that evoke suspicion and include things like his underpants being on the wrong side although he left home wearing them the correct way, condoms being in his car when you use a different form of birth control, and even the infamous hickey, which you know you did not place on his neck. Other signs include:

1. Distraction

The counselling psychologist said when you’re speaking to your partner and he isn’t paying attention or his mind seems far away, it leaves room for suspicion, especially if he seems distracted in your company and does not show much interest in what you’re saying.

2. Paying more attention to his clothes

According to Williams, if this was not the norm and he starts to take pride in his deportment for no apparent reason, it could be that he is trying to impress another female.

3. Going to the gym to get buffed up

When body image becomes part of his agenda and he becomes a friend of pumping iron without mentioning an interest before, it can be a sign that he is seeking to impress someone else.

4. A change in pattern

According to Williams, if a woman is used to her partner getting home at a certain time and finds that he is coming home earlier or later, it becomes suspicious. “It could be an indication that there is a third party that has to be facilitated or he has to pick up someone to take them to work,” she said. She further explained that if it was a platonic or mutual friend, there would be no need to be cagey about it.

5. The phone is off limits

One clear sign, according to Williams, is being reprimanded for interfering with your partner’s phone. “Whereas in the past you would be able to answer the phone, the phone is now off limits, and now there are phone calls coming in at certain hours of the night when you should be resting.” Williams said this indicates that the outside person is showing possession, and announcing that she can call him at any time.

–Kimberley Hibbert