Harassed by my ex and his brother

Dear Mrs Macaulay,

The father of my child wants custody of our daughter (who is seven years old) but he is telling a lot of lies with the help of his so-called ‘minister’ brother. Recently I had to meet with someone from CDA who said they received a report that I was abusing my daughter, that she is hungry and dirty. I know he was the one who lied.

The matter is still unresolved before the Family Court. I am still having difficulties receiving the money ordered by the judge at the Family Court. What he wants to do is pay the funds directly to the school, etc, and ask for receipts.

I have had to change her school twice due to security reasons as the other parents did not think it was safe for their children to be exposed to the constant harassment from my ex.

Three weeks ago his brother, who ministers in a church, went to her school with a ‘letter’ signed by a ‘notary public’ giving him permission (from the father) to collect my daughter’s documents (report, voucher, booklist, etc). He also told lies on me to the teachers who in turn had to tell him that he was not being truthful as I am a supportive parent.

Also, the teacher said he introduced himself as a minister, a justice of the peace, a station pastor and a marriage officer, which are all lies.

I sent a message to him stating that I am tired of them, and he then went to the police station and lied that I threatened him.

The father’s name is not on the birth certificate but his family embarrassed my daughter when they came to visit by giving her a body search, then commenting that she had the father’s feet and was therefore not a jacket. What can I do?

Whatever this man’s status is, he has no right to interfere with your daughter and the matters concerning her. His conduct at the school was despicable. I must say that I cannot comprehend how and why the letter was signed by or before a notary public because for such a document to be legally acceptable for use here in Jamaica, it should have been signed before a justice of the peace and not a notary public. The authenticity of that letter to my mind is clearly questionable.

I trust that you have and have always had de facto custody and care and control of your child. If this is so, then your child’s school documents should rightly be delivered to you but you ought to give copies of them to her father. He has no right to try to disrupt the arrangements for and the responsibility you have for your child at her school and the peaceful pursuit of her education. I note that you say that you have had to change your daughter’s school twice already — and she is only seven years old — because of his constant harassment that made other parents fearful about their children’s safety. This is so disruptive of your daughter’s life that it may still adversely affect her. It is unforgiveable and such facts could be used to demonstrate and prove that he does not have the best interests of his child as the reason for his so-called wish for her custody.

In fact, when you say he wants custody of her, do you mean just ‘custody’ or do you mean ‘custody, care and control’? Whatever you mean, I hope that you had filed your own application for custody, care and control of your daughter. You must not let his application be the only one before the court. But then, I am not certain whether the application in court which remains unresolved is a custody application or whether it is the matter of his ‘lies’ to the CDA.

If the unresolved issue in the Family Court is the latter, then you can, I am sure, easily disprove such an allegation by calling witnesses to give evidence about your daughter’s usual appearance, her health and nutrition and your careful upbringing and the care you take with and of her.

You mention that your ex wishes to pay the maintenance ordered by the court directly to the school and asks for receipts. Well, educational expenses are a part of maintenance, not the whole. You really should give him copies of the vouchers from the school and having done the pricing of the contents of the booklist, give him a copy. You see, he should know what his obligation for half of her educational expenses amounts to and he can either then give you his half for the school payment or pay that himself, as long as this is what you both agree should be done. For the purchase of her books, there will be confusion if you both do not agree who is going to buy which books and other stuff. It is therefore generally the practice that he should, having received his copy of invoice and booklist already priced, give to you his one-half of the total and you should give him a receipt for the money. This avoids confusion.

As to maintenance for her living expenses, he must pay it over to you. If he does not, then he has not paid his maintenance contribution as ordered and he will be deemed to be in arrears and so liable to be arrested on a warrant for non-payment.

You must make sure that you obtain an order for sole custody, care and control of your daughter and make sure that you from time to time apply to vary the maintenance sums for your daughter based on monetary depreciation and the increased cost of her expenses. And always do your best for your child. Be always vigilant about everything to do with her welfare and continue to be a watchdog in court and elsewhere for your daughter’s best interests always, regardless of whomsoever is trying to hamper your efforts.

Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law, Supreme Court mediator, notary public and women’s and children’s rights advocate. Send questions via e-mail to allwoman@jamaicaobserver. com; or write to All Woman, 40-42 1/2 Beechwood Avenue, Kingston 5.

DISCLAIMER:

The contents of this article are for informational purposes only and must not be relied upon as an alternative to legal advice from your own attorney.