I want to give up my child for adoption

Q: Dear Mrs Macaulay,

I am in my early 20s and pregnant. Unfortunately, it is far from an ideal time for me to become a parent as I am a full-time student and employee. I tried finding information on adoption in Jamaica but all I came up with was information useful for those seeking to adopt. Could you please provide me with information on the process of giving up a child for adoption?

A: I agree with you that most of the information provided by officialdom in Jamaica is for those people who wish to adopt. It is generally felt that it would be unseemly to provide this information because it may be seen that people are being canvassed to give up the children of unwanted pregnancies for adoption. This would in effect be in conflict with the basic accepted fact that for a child’s wholesome development, the best place for the child is with both parents or one of them. Any other arrangement is considered second best, and must be scrupulously examined to see if it would be in the best interest of the child.

The burden of informing a parent, generally the mother, of the possibility of offering a child for adoption, is by and large borne by NGOs and faith-based homes and/or associations and members of the medical and social service professions.

You can inform the Child Development Agency (CDA) of your intent to have your child adopted and they would monitor you until the time of your confinement and delivery, before liaising with the Adoption Board, which always has prospective adoptive parents on its books, and would generally not find it difficult to identify people who have been looking for babies to adopt. By this means you would in all probability not meet and know the person or persons who would adopt your child.

Or you could tell your doctor of your intention, as doctors generally also know of people fervently hoping to identify children to adopt. You could also wait until you go to deliver your baby and make your intention clear to all the medical staff involved in the procedures for your delivery, including the social workers.

All these people generally know some person or persons who wish to adopt. Generally, such persons are introduced to the mother-to-be, so that she can interact with them and decide whether she would like them to be the ones to adopt and bring up her child. Sometimes it is a spontaneous reaction of like or dislike, and you can decide and act accordingly.

You should be absolutely certain that you really wish to have your child adopted. In the former circumstance through the CDA, it would generally be what is sometimes called a ‘blind adoption’. That is to say, you will not have a part to play in the decision about who is to adopt your child or get to know them and you may never really see your child, because from shortly after your delivery when the agency takes the baby into their charge and custody, that would be it for you, except for the signing of all the relevant documents to effect the adoption. The latter circumstance through your doctor, nurses, social workers and other medical personnel would be in effect a private process of selection of who you want and consider would be the best parents for your child. This is not for any financial benefit to you, as this would be the crime of selling your child. From your letter I gather that this is not your intent, as it is clear that you want what is best for your child, who you feel you cannot provide for because of what is happening in your life.

You would, by this method, retain a great measure of control over who gets your child, as you can pick and choose until you are satisfied that you have chosen the best people to be the parents. You can also by this means, arrange with the adoptive parents-to-be, that you can have some access to your child. This is an ‘open adoption’, wherein you all discuss and decide how you would be known to your child and interact with him or her at a time when the child’s sense of discernment is developed enough that he or she would appreciate your identity either as ‘aunty’ or ‘godmother’ or ‘birth mother’ or just a ‘friend’.

I personally believe that it is healthier for the child to know the truth while you continue to have access, as it would be suitable and reasonable in all the circumstances and bearing in mind as a priority the child’s best interests.

Remember, in this way, the adoptive parents would be the parents of the child and they would have custody and care and control of the child. You would have such access to see the child, perhaps once a month or at such times as you all agree would be best for all of you, but especially that which is for the best interests of the child.

As far as I know, churches, the faith organisations and homes, NGOs and/or associations assist with both types of adoption. If you have made your intent clear and you have received positive results either from the CDA or other people whom you have met and vetted, you would still have the right after the birth to change your mind, even though this would be painful for the hopeful adoptive parents.

I hope I have assisted you with your enquiry and that you will be able to make a decision which is well considered and informed, and which will not have the effect for both you and your child wanting in later years to find each other. This is why I am inclined to the open adoption with some access to the child to the birth mother and/or father.

One final matter, which I am dealing with last, as I wish to highlight it. I hope you have spoken with the prospective father of your child and he is in agreement with your intention. You ought not to decide on this alone. The father-to-be has a right to know and agree to the adoption plan or he may want to take his child himself. If he has abandoned you to deal with your pregnancy alone, has disappeared and you have no way of finding him, and especially if he made it clear that he had no interest whatsoever in the pregnancy or its result, then you would have to make your decision without his participation in the decision .

I wish you the very best.

Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law, Supreme Court mediator, notary public and women’s and children’s rights advocate. Send questions via e-mail to allwoman@jamaicaobserver. com; or write to All Woman, 40-42 1/2 Beechwood Avenue, Kingston 5.

DISCLAIMER:

The contents of this article are for informational purposes only and must not be relied upon as an alternative to legal advice from your own attorney.