Dad, grandma want to remove child from country

Dear Mrs Macaulay,

I left my daughter with her grandmother when she was 10 months old. Her father pressured me into doing so, as he didn’t want her in day care and said he would not give me money if I didn’t comply. We made an agreement that I would go back for her when I was ready. I continued supporting her in every possible way.

Her dad and I broke up and I still continued doing my part in caring for our daughter, who is now eight years old and still resides with the grandmother.

During that period I got married to a Jamaican who is now a US citizen. My husband is filing for me and he had added my daughter to the list. I had informed my child’s dad and his mother that my daughter was placed on my filing, and they both agreed.

They are both now denying the fact that I had told them of the filing.

It came to my attention that the grandmother was also on a filing and it was successful. She had asked if she could take my daughter with her overseas for the Christmas holidays and I agreed. But I then realised that the grandmother had no intention of sending her back because she had been asking me for the child’s original birth certificate, stating that her daughter overseas would be looking at schools for my daughter in Florida. Her dad also said he would be leaving Jamaica and not return.

I got scared and told her grandmother that I wouldn’t consent to the trip. The grandmother got very upset and said she would have her son file for custody.

I asked for my daughter’s passport and both the grandmother and her son refused to turn it over to me.

I am now better able to take care of my child. I have moved closer so I can take my child to school and I also align my schedule with her school schedule.

Now whenever I call my daughter, she says her grandmother said she should tell me that she won’t be coming with me. My daughter’s father is upset with me because I will not let his mother take my daughter overseas and have her stay there illegally. They keep telling my daughter lies about me and getting her confused, so whenever I call to speak with her, she starts crying.

I want to get sole custody of my daughter.

It is unfortunate that the arrangement that you agreed to continued as long as it did. I assume that you felt coerced to accept the father’s terms because you were working and so could not give full-time care to your daughter and considered it to be in her best interests at the time.

They are, you point out, now denying that you informed them about the filing and that they agreed. I am always bemused to learn that people inform and receive decisions about such important matters only by word of mouth and do not have the whole exchange in writing. Why did you not? Even the initial arrangement when she was 10 months old should have been in writing and signed by you, the father, and the grandmother.

This is not to say that you cannot rely on verbal arrangements and agreements. But things are so much easier to prove when they are written down.

If they are acting as you say in alienating the child, this is very detrimental to your daughter’s development and is against her best interests. For this alone, you ought to go immediately to the Family Court in your parish and make your application for custody, care and control of your child and for maintenance.

You must act quickly. Go to the court office and sit there for as long as it takes, so that your applications are done and ask for the court to arrange for service of it on your behalf. Make sure that you take a certified copy of your daughter’s birth certificate with you. Tell the court clerk everything you have told me in your letter and fill in any gaps.

Please do not delay so that you daughter’s affections for you are not completely alienated and that the emotional abuse to her is ended.

Good luck.

Margarette May Macaulay is an attorney-at-law, Supreme Court mediator, notary public and women’s and children’s rights advocate. Send questions via e-mail to allwoman@jamaicaobserver.com; or write to All Woman, 40-42 1/2 Beechwood Avenue, Kingston 5. All responses are published. Mrs Macaulay cannot provide personal responses.

DISCLAIMER:

The contents of this article are for informational purposes only and must not be relied upon as an alternative to legal advice from your own attorney.