Developing trust

A good parent-child bond is what most mothers and fathers desire, but oftentimes this doesn’t happen.

However, whatever the reason(s) may be for the insecure bond between you and your child, the gap can be closed with a little help.

Below, the Office of the Children’s Advocate (OCA) shares some ways to bridge the gap between parent and child and restore the trust levels.

1. Keep their secrets

The OCA said children test parents with information, therefore it is important to allow your child to be able to trust you by not sharing with others little innocent things they share with you.

2. Listen

Parents need to train themselves to listen to their children without overreacting to the things they say. This helps to bolster the trust when they feel they can tell you anything and you will not be upset or become erratic.

3. Keep their confidence

Parents should remember how embarrassed they would become when their parents shared with visiting relatives stories about things they had done. Consider everything your kids tell you as privileged information. If you think you need to share it with anyone else for any reason — even your spouse — let your child know.

4. Start off small

One way to bolster trust is to talk to your children about difficult things from their tender years. This can range from special circumstances like being a single parent or grandpa’s alcoholism, to the conversations that unnerve most parents, like sex. Don’t get too emotional, act natural, and keep your references short and matter-of-fact. Sooner or later you’ll feel natural, and your kids will be comfortable building on those discussions to ask questions and talk about their own feelings. Research shows that kids in families that tackle tough issues early are more likely to consult their parents as teens.

5. Tell the truth

While it’s tempting to tell your child that the injection won’t hurt when she’s hysterical at the doctor’s office, chances are she won’t trust you after that. If you want to build a relationship of trust with your child, be honest right from the start.