“You can’t even say ‘PSST’ to anyone anymore” — Men lash out at #metoo movement

SINCE the #metoo movement emerged, women across the globe have become bolder in confronting their sexual abusers.

But some have described the movement as a field day for feminists and a period of doom for men. Locally, some men are not happy with the movement, and though they see the rationale behind it, they fear that an innocent approach may now be viewed as sexual harassment.

When All Woman spoke to Jared, 34, he said a major issue he has with the movement is that it promulgates feminism, promotes vigilante justice, and disregards the rule of law that someone is innocent until proven guilty.

“With human nature being what it is, I don’t trust this naming and shaming business. I say allow the law to take its course. Investigate it properly. Receive the complaints, investigate, come to a conclusion and let it be known by explaining the verdict. No other way will parties involved get justice. Jungle justice is satisfactory, but in the long term the rule of law must be defended. No matter how understandable a situation is, abide by the law,” he said.

In addition, he said creating a situation where men and women are seen as sexes at war is a recipe for disaster, as both sexes can’t exist without the other.

Regionally, countries such as Belize, Bahamas and Guyana have legitimised legislation against sexual harassment. Jamaica, on the other hand, has had a draft Sexual Harassment Bill before the Parliament since 2015. But in essence, on a broad scale, sexual harassment is described as physical contact of a sexual nature; a demand or request for sex or for favours of a sexual nature; the making of sexually coloured remarks or sexual advances; sexual suggestions or sexual innuendos; the showing of pornography or the display of images or objects of a sexual nature; and any other physical, gestural, verbal, non-verbal or visual conduct of a sexual nature.

Said Jared: “Jamaica has one of the highest numbers of female managers in the world. Women who hold power in the workplace look out for other women and look out for each other, and at the very least are first-level feminists. Any form of feminism is a disadvantage to a man, and you don’t even have to hate men to be biased. My fear is that feminism automatically persecutes men on no other basis than an accusation, and I fear we are heading to, if we are not already at that place.”

He also offered that depending on socio-economic environments, what’s offensive to one individual may not be to another, and that then leaves one guessing.

“Depending on the type of woman and where she is from, what she is exposed to and wants, if your approach is nice and gentle, she may think you are soft or gay, while there are women from the upper echelons of society who may also welcome crass comments, depending on the strength of your pocket and how you look. So what’s really acceptable?” he asked.

Moreover, he said with issues like catcalling being classified as sexual harassment, he is left to wonder how men should approach women.

“You can’t say ‘psst’ to anyone or a simple comment like ‘hey beautiful’, and it’s not taken out of context these days. I am not referring to direct abuse and derogatory remarks, but there are some things which are not clear-cut forms of harassment, and I am guessing harassment is subjective. Are we then saying men should take cues, when some cues are very subtle and a man may very well be ignorant to it?”

Shane, 29, said while he has no issue with social movements like #metoo, it should not be biased towards women.

“No woman should have to feel like breast, leg and thighs. We must approach with caution and engage with care. Most men wouldn’t want their daughters to be spoken to like that. But in the same breath, maybe we should stop sexualising men as well,” he said.

Shane further mentioned that so strong is the bias towards women in issues of sexual harassment that women don’t realise the double standard.

“Women at times see young men and call him ‘mi likkle boyfriend’. If that was a girl it would be a different story. So I say treat everyone with respect and don’t see a member of the opposite sex as merely a sex object,” he said.

Charles, 48, on the other hand, said males in our society have taken advantage of their position, and sexual harassment is rife and damning on us as a people. However, he said it is two-fold, as some people believe you can’t be an executive or a leader unless you sleep with someone, and on the other hand you can’t offer a compliment to a women and it is not viewed as being equivalent to a pass.

While he agrees that there needs to be legislation, he also takes issue with the direction that the #metoo movement has taken where any allegation made against someone becomes the truth.

“Any man that makes a comment is now seen as guilty and has to prove his innocence, and that’s the drawback I don’t like,” he said.

Anthony, 32, said most people are aware of the structural and institutional discrimination against women, but for him #metoo shows no leader or coherent aim.

“It is all good that it became a media and social media campaign, but what did it do for the working- class woman in the US? And what about women who lack access and power in developing countries? Campaigns without structure do little beyond temporal awareness. The issues against women are serious and require long-term thinking to address all the complexities,” he said.

Added Anthony: “Maybe the #metoo is the front for a more organised movement , but we have not seen that. Women are still suffering in silence, and a system that perpetuates their abuse deserves more than our hashtags. Men suffer too, and mention of men should not be seen as hijacking, but in all this we have to be comprehensive.”