‘Who say that woman can dun?’

POPULAR dancehall artiste Shabba Ranks sang it perfectly on the Punani rhythm — “Who say that woman can dun? Tell dem seh the woman don’t come to dun” as homage to women for their insatiable sexual appetite compared to the male counterparts whose tool tends to get dull after a certain age.

It is an unfortunate fact that the sex lives of women over a certain age are either neglected totally or written off as “non-existent” due to a plethora of preconceptions promulgated by popular media.

But a recent video clip of black activist and political firebrand Beverley Manley Duncan created quite a frenzy on social media when she declared, “It’s amazing that at my stage in life, having married two men, one of whom died [one and a half years ago]… and when I think about it I say what’s supposed to happen to me now in terms of sex? I’m 80. Is it over for me? I’m asking the question, I ask God the question. Why should it be over for me? Biologically I’m made different from a man.” The video forms part of her documentary Beverley Manley Uncensored, An Intimate Portrait of a Jamaica Icon, which is yet to be released.

The comments, mostly praises for her honesty and openness, were also intersprsed with the views of individuals thinking something was wrong with Manley Duncan for still having sexual desires, some even suggesting she put aside those feelings and focus on other things.

But researcher, psychologist and clinical sexologist Dr Karen Carpenter told Jamaica Observer‘s All Woman it is a myth that the age of a woman determines her sexual desire and assured that a woman’s ability to perform sexually does not diminish with time.

Men’s ability to gain and maintain an erection, according to Dr Carpenter, does diminish with age. Subsequently, Dr Carpenter said women are often with partners who are no longer able to perform intercourse but that there are still many ways a couple can enjoy sexual activity, intercourse being just one.

Concerning Manley Duncan and older women’s sexual desires, Dr Carpenter said it is perfectly within the range of normal sexual behaviour for human beings to desire intimacy and sexual contact throughout their lives if they are healthy.

Why then are so many shocked by Manley Duncan’s candid admission?

Dr Carpenter said, “As a nation we are generally shocked by the idea of sex that is for pleasure rather than procreation, and we are also largely uninformed about human sexual function. Most discussions about sex in the public arena tend to be about prohibitions or lewdness, despite the fact that research shows that the majority of the Jamaican population see sex as normal. This is just one of the many double standards.”

Amidst the comments, some people offered Manley Duncan tips to quench her desires. However, the clinical sexologist quickly pointed out that women and men do not need advice about sex if they are functioning well. She said: “The important thing is for them to be able to give consent and be healthy. Adults have a human right to make decisions about their own sexual performance and engagement.”

Below, women over 50 tell All Woman about their sex lives and desires.

Shirley, 67, married:

Both of us are still functional and we still enjoy sex. Sex was created by God for enjoyment in the sanctity of marriage, and my husband and I will continue to enjoy it as long as we are healthy.

Antoinette, 62, single:

My boyfriend and I enjoy a healthy love life. A lot of people seem to think the age of retirement is applicable to all aspects of life — work, parenting and sex — but that’s not the case. Sex is pleasurable, fun and relaxing — and at my age when pregnancy is no longer a factor, I am having more, not less.

Maria, 70, married:

I am far more confident now that I was at 30, 40. So the mere fact that it still works for both of us and there is no body image issues, we have a really great time.

Pansy, 52, single:

I enjoy it more now and there’s less concern about trivial things that would bother me in my 20s.

Ann-Marie, 56, married:

My husband is older and sex is still a top priority for him. I am happy, cause it is a major priority for me.

Kate, 58, single:

Sex in your 50s is great as long as you’re having it with someone who isn’t in their 50s. Thank you, younger males who recognise that ‘sexy’ knows no age.