How to find a good woman

FINDING a good woman is as easy as getting a tooth pulled by your favourite dentist — difficult, but doable. The Bible statement that “it is not good for the man to be alone” remains true. The Bible also says “he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing”, speaking of how fortunate such a man will be. So, it is worth the effort to prepare and pursue a “good woman”.

Well, let’s introduce my definition of a “good woman”. A good woman is one who is committed for the long-term, to walk with, work with and worship with her man. She will be by his side through thick and thin, for the good of them both.

Well, how does a guy find one of those? There’s no cookie-cutter mould to the “good woman” for every man. There will be differences in each situation that qualifies her as “good” to a particular guy. For example, Tom’s good woman may have differences from Jerry’s good woman. Tom’s lady may walk with him as expressed by her joining him regularly at his football matches, while helping him finance the house — she may be a career lady, working a job. Jerry’s partner may not like football, but will walk with him as expressed by supporting his dream to be a footballer, taking care of home while he’s away playing football for the club — she may work at home.

So here’s how:

1. Make your list. Knowing what you are looking for is the key to finding it. Make a list of what’s important to you. Jerry may have on his list, that his woman is willing to allow him to be away for long periods. Tom’s list may say she will accompany him to his games and loves football. The list should be more about character and personality than height and complexion, though those should be included too. Write it down.

2. Be bold. Timidity will not accomplish much; confidence is everything. Get up and go out to different events and places and be willing to approach and be approached. Attend the office party, the sip’n paint event, the 5K walk, the dog show. And be willing to go alone at times. Attending these events will also make life more adventurous while giving you the opportunity to run into the lady. Go out alone with confidence.

3. Be a good man. A good woman will want to walk alongside someone going somewhere in her general direction. Be busy building something while you are looking. A good man is on a mission, and a man with a purpose. Whatever you are called to, be busy being the best at it. Guys and girls may have flings with ‘interesting’ guys and girls, but they won’t usually commit to them. They commit to what they are convinced they don’t want to live without because it aligns with their own dreams and long-term goals. Be a man on a noble mission.

4. Look the part. How you dress says a lot about how you think. People do judge a book by its cover. If she’s a good woman she too will have an idea of what she wants, and who she wants to be seen walking beside. Look like someone who someone else would want to walk with, work with, and worship with. Dress for success.

5. Pray about it. Yes, making a request to God gets providence on your side. Coincidences are carefully orchestrated by the real powers that be. Running into her by chance is not so much about chance. And, as is said, watch while you pray. Do your part while requesting help to do what you can’t. Make your request known to God.

These are a few pertinent steps that I think will help guys find the waiting girl. It may take some time, but patience and persistence will always yield their fruit. Next week: How to find a good man.

Rev Christopher Brodber is a counsellor and minister of religion. E-mail him at chrisbrodber@yahoo.com.