Life lessons 101

LIFE lessons are the things we learn through our experiences, both positive and negative, that help us grow and develop as individuals.

“There’s a saying, ‘when suffering knocks at your door and you say there is no seat for him, he tells you not to worry because he has brought his own stool’,“ said banker Anthony W. ”Replace suffering in this Chinua Achebe quote with women, and you will understand how they present themselves in your life, how you often don’t want them there, how they convince you, and how in the end they teach you the hardest life lessons that are never to your benefit.“

What’s the most brutal life lesson a woman has ever taught you?

Anthony, and a few other men below, go into detail.

Anthony W, 49:

My parents had actually taken her in as a teen mom, because they knew her parents and knew she had a hard life. Fast forward to a decade and change later, my parents had died and I inherited the property. I gave her notice because my intentions were to expand, but somehow she convinced me to let her stay, and at the same time, moved in on me like Eve the temptress. A romance developed, and would you believe that when I tried to break it off, she took me to court and said she was my common-law wife, and the home was our family home. We’re still in court over it.

Butcher P, 30:

Never, ever confuse friendship with romance. If she tells you that you’re like a brother to her, that’s all you are. I spent years doing yard work, chores and errands for my neighbour, as a way to get her to notice me. I went to all her family events, and would even babysit her kids. None of that mattered in the end, as when she found her man, I couldn’t even go over to her yard anymore, and when I broke down in front of her, she said nothing was wrong with a man crying, and I should let it all out, and she could suggest a counsellor if I needed one.

Alric L, 43:

When a woman checks out she’s done forever. You can never get her back, and even if she stays with you, it’s only because she’s not where she wants to be in her life yet. Women will leave if they want. There’s no point in fighting for them to stay. Once she’s made up her mind there’s no changing it. I admit that I treated her badly, but by the time I was ready to slow down and treat her like my queen, she had already checked out. I realised the full extent of it when I was in a car accident, and she rarely came to the hospital to see me. At that time I realised that it was each one of us for ourselves, because while mi bruk up inna hospital, she was living her best life.

Leonard B, 44:

When she said “I would die without you” I didn’t understand — until I told her I was moving out and she tried to end us both while I was driving over Flat Bridge. To this day she says I’m lying, but I know what terror I experienced. By the way, we’re still together, mostly because I’m scared of what will happen if I try to break up with her again.

Patrick A, 50:

Trusting the wrong woman is the worst thing you can do. I went away and worked and sent back money for her to build my mansion. When I got back to Jamaica it was built, yes, but all the papers were in her name and the authorities sided with her.

Noel E, 41:

Helping her get her life together, basically taking her from the bottom to the top, doesn’t warrant loyalty. The most traumatic lesson I ever got was working and sending my ex to nursing school, then having her graduate and then tell me that I wasn’t in her class or tax bracket anymore, and she needed to move on.