FATHERS, HUSBANDS, FRIENDS: Why men’s mental health is a women’s issue too

THOUGH there have been interventions to stem the culture, fact is, from a young age, boys are taught to “man up”, “don’t cry”, and handle their business. Vulnerability is seen as weakness, and the result is that too many of our fathers, brothers, husbands, sons, and friends silently struggle with depression, anxiety, and emotional stress, often with no one to talk to.

In this Men’s Health Awareness Month, it’s important to recognise that this is not just a men’s issue, it’s a community issue. And yes, it is very much a women’s issue too.

“When men suffer in silence, the effects ripple across families and communities,” said mental health counsellor Angela Dacres. “Example, a father’s unprocessed grief can show up as anger at home. A husband’s untreated anxiety can manifest as withdrawal, tension, or conflict in the relationship. A brother or friend who doesn’t feel safe sharing his feelings may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms — from alcohol to isolation.”

Dacres said for women who are these men’s partners, mothers, sisters, and friends, understanding men’s mental health is important, as their mental well-being affects the well-being of the entire family.

“Whether they realise it or not, many women already serve as the emotional anchor for their families,” she said. “They notice when their husband is more quiet than usual. They are the ones their sons confide in (if they confide at all). They often create the emotional “climate” in the home, one that can either encourage or discourage open conversation about feelings.”

In many families, women are also the ones who first suggest seeking help, which is powerful emotional leadership.

“What role can women play? They can challenge harmful gender stereotypes, and raise sons and mentor young men by encouraging emotional literacy,” Dacres said. “Let boys know it’s okay to cry, to talk about feelings, and to seek help.

“Also, foster environments where men feel they won’t be judged for showing vulnerability. Sometimes, the simple act of listening without offering solutions is powerful,” she added.

She emphasised that while emotional support is important, women shouldn’t feel they must “fix” their men’s mental health struggles by themselves.

“Help normalise therapy or counselling,” she said.

“It’s important to reflect on how we, as women, might reinforce stereotypes without meaning to, expecting men to always be strong, or being uncomfortable when they show sadness or fear.”