Women: The biggest influence on the macho cultural narrative
THE roots of the expectation that men should be tough stretch back to the generation where men were to provide, protect, and show no weakness.
“Big man don’t cry”, “Hold yuh head up”, “Hold up you stress”, we’ve all heard the sayings. But times are changing. Conversations about mental health are becoming more common in Jamaica.
“More men are speaking out about their struggles with stress, anxiety and depression, but they’re also facing a culture that still values stoic strength over emotional honesty,” said counsellor David Anderson.
He said in this change, Jamaican women play a powerful role, whether they realise it or not.
“The way mothers raise their sons, the way partners respond to vulnerability, and the way sisters and friends talk about manhood all help shape new cultural narratives,” he added.
Moms create the next generation of men
In many Jamaican households, mothers are the emotional heart of the family. The way a mother responds when her son cries, faces disappointment, or shows fear can set the tone for how he learns to deal with emotions for life.
“Instead of saying, ‘Stop bawling like a girl’, many Jamaican mothers today are learning to say: ‘It’s okay to feel sad, Talk to me about it’. That small change helps raise emotionally aware men who don’t feel ashamed to acknowledge their feelings,” Anderson said.
Partners should have the honest conversations
In relationships, many Jamaican women have long been the emotional “rock” for their men, often hearing frustrations, stresses, or emotional pain behind closed doors.
But one challenge is recognising when this emotional support accidentally reinforces the “tough guy” narrative — like expecting a man to always be “the provider” without allowing space for him to express fear or insecurity.
“By openly welcoming honesty, and affirming that vulnerability is strength, not weakness, women can help their partners challenge these stereotypes in their own minds,” Anderson said.
He said the “tough guy” stereotype is not just a harmless image, it can trap men in silence, isolation, and emotional suppression.
“Untreated mental health struggles contribute to high rates of depression, suicide, domestic violence, and relationship breakdowns,” Anderson said.
“How women relate to men at all levels has enormous power to help rewrite the narrative. And as we do, we’re not only uplifting men, we’re creating a better, more compassionate Jamaica for all.”
