Will our star stop shining?Thursday, August 25, 2016
WELCOME to another day in the Land of TMI (Too Much Information). Yes, too much information has become the burden of the day for our best-loved hero. Jamaican family and friends want to see nothing but the best for him. How prepared are they to defend to the end this very special person?
What a difference a week can make!
Our hero was winning all the way up to last Sunday night. His supporters were witnessing "nuff respect" from Rio to the end of the world, because the real Big Man never ‘ramp’ when it came to striking gold. Now, our hero has found himself mixed up in a tacky scandal, distracting from his great triumph, which he earned so well, just as we expected.
Where is the story now? Shall it be fast-backward, or is there any point trying to go forward so late in the day?
Right now nobody really knows where TMI is taking us. Was it the rain in Rio last Sunday evening which dampened the brains of so many persons who got caught up in the drama? Who really believes that a man who has achieved so much in a still young life, one who from he was a bwoy has been making strategic moves to the top of the world (just short of Katmandu), why would he get himself into such a bundle of chupidniss?
We shouldn’t be getting headaches. We were the winners until the Sunday night mess as the Rio Olympics came to an end. Our Mr Olympics was happily singing "Happy Birthday" when the rubbish began dirtying up what he worked for. Why would our hero want to do what they say he did?
There is no clear definition of what kind of high spirits he was in. So we can’t pass it off as "an attack of spirits", which could have his detractors singing, "Drink a rum till you tumble-dung." So, what kinda game was being played?
There was our hero, gold to the core, descending from the heights of success to a sleazy game. The gossip magazines are abuzz and social media is afire. The latest news is that he is currently in London, where he is partying so tell with lotta damsels, en route to another marathon round.
Is my hero taking everybody for a ride, or are they messing with him? Maybe, but not everybody takes it for a joke. Nobody is expecting him to enter the priesthood, forgetting how to party and have a good-good time. But, do Bredda, nuh mek dem tek you mek poppyshow. They will do it! If Marcus Garvey was here, he would remind you how they work it.
As we well know, our hero is a man who will never pass up a dance, so now he is out hitting the floor in London, giving the media the opportunity to add this to the Brexit leader (now meeting with Trump. Heaven help us!).
We wait to welcome our hero home, and we want him without anymore rubbish. He is still the bestest of the best. He must not allow libatty to be taken with him and, above all, enable sleaze artists to enrich their accounts at his cost.
In the wisdom of our ancestors, "We a smaddy too." Oh, for Uncle Rex to have been here still to give a lecture on "smaddy-tization". We need to show some a dat!
As to the wee hours of last Sunday’s "selfie" sessions, our hero should not allow cameras to fass inna him business. What are we to make of all this? The female participant, later identified as the young widow of what we here would call "a bad man" — whatever the Portuguese version — has been chatting up a storm. How much is truth and how much is lie?
Question: Who was collecting the reward from the New York and London media who went wild at the overexposure of our hero? Was our hero really taken in, or did he miss the comedy act, which was being played out against him? Who set the bait?
One thing I would ask of my hero. At age 30, he is no longer a yute. Do, bretheren, you mean nuff and plenty to us. We want to see you, our bright-bright star, for as long as you can shine. Protect yourself, brother. Rise up! All a we want nothing but the best for you. Yeah, man! All a we and you a cousin! So, shine for all a wi!
What colour is that?
Who hasn’t noticed that there is no more gold in the colours of the national flag? Some time ago a weird sulphur green-yellow tinge surfaced and caused nuff argument. Some pointed to China imports. True or false? Wherever it came from, the weird colour is back again. It even went to Rio, some said. What is our problem? Are we going to blame it on the coat of arms crocodile, or wherever it is believed has come here to embarrass us? What does the sulphur-yellow-green mean? When you find out, tell me, do!
Barbara Gloudon is a journalist, playwright and commentator. Send comments to the Observer or