Do we love our children enough?
When we see the reports of fights in our high schools we wonder what kind of homes produced these children. This is not an uptown-downtown issue.
I remember interviewing our former World Boxing Association champion Mike McCallum in the 1980s. He came from a very humble home in the inner city, but his mother was so watchful that she took him to church every night. Then there was the wonderful lead story in last week’s Jamaica Observer in which young Alexia Hibbert turned up at her mother’s workplace in her graduation gown to show her The University of the West Indies (UWI) bachelor of science degree she achieved as a result of her mother’s sacrifices.
Her mother Makeisha Walker is a vendor at Crab Circle, which is adjacent to National Heroes’ Park. The photo of the two features a huge pot of crabs, the means by which Walker has been raising and educating her two daughters.
The report by Brittny Hutchinson quotes Hibbert: “I remember one time she got burnt by the soup, but she got up for work … She wrapped it up and came out here. Sometimes, even when it’s raining heavily, she is out there doing her thing.”
It is said that every child needs that one person who loves them unconditionally, who reminds them how precious they are, who makes sacrifices for them to give them the best life possible. In our Jamaica this is not necessarily a parent, grandparents, elder siblings, aunts, and uncles have stepped in and have done wonderfully.
However, there are still too many of our children who do not have that one caring guardian, and it now falls on the society to step into the breach. We can talk and wring our hands, but what is really needed is a strategic plan involving school, church, and civil society. There are active alumni associations which could also be brought on board to do one-on-one mentoring of troubled children.
This country has more churches per capita than most others in the world. And there are retired seniors who could conduct after-school homework sessions in those beautiful, empty church halls and engage the children in practical and inspiring discussions.
Child abuse is taking place in all types of households. Parents suffering from diverse types of addiction are neglecting their children. Internet addiction may prevent us from focusing on our children’s concerns. Bullyism is rife, and if parents are not aware and do not take action, their children could be scarred for life.
Although after-school pickups can be a challenge for working parents, instead of having their children waiting until dark with a security guard, other arrangements ought to be made for after-school care. Those poor little hearts depend on their parents and guardians to look out for them and should never feel that no one cares.
Another severe problem is the constant criticism that some children face when they are compared to others. I remember a competent co-worker always shrinking in the background and never standing up for herself. She shared that her parents were constantly comparing her with high-achieving cousins and she developed an inferiority complex. Another young lady kept standing behind others in a group photo, and when we asked her why she was hiding herself, she said she was too ugly to be photographed. We could not believe our ears; this was a beautiful lady. And when we kept complimenting her, she burst into tears and said, apart from men trying to pick her up, it was the first time that she had received sincere affirmations — as a child she had been told repeatedly that she was ugly.
Our offhand remarks can be cutting to a child as can our lack of focus on their needs.
The children, who we keep saying are our future, have urgent and present challenges. We are reaping the whirlwind and we need to act before it becomes a dangerous hurricane.
AL WEBB SCHOLARSHIP
For the past four years retired banker Al Webb has been funding one-year scholarships for UWI students based on their first- or second-year performance. Along with UWI Development and Endowment Fund (UWIDEV) Project Officer Francine Kidd-Warren I have been interviewing these students and have been moved by their resolve and perseverance in the face of unimaginable challenges. The hardest part was to select one from the four worthy candidates. But we did.
Congratulations to Zanya Lawes, now in her second year, pursuing a social sciences degree. She is an ardent volunteer for environmental projects and participates in various extra-curricular activities. We wish her every success.
COMFORT OF CLUB MOBAY
From the moment you get to the reception desk you are greeted by friendly and professional staff at Club Mobay. The service and environment are impeccable; it makes one proud that our visitors can enjoy this aspect of our Jamaican hospitality at arrival and departure.
Kudos to the founder of VIP Attractions David Hall, who rolled out services at the Donald Sangster Airport and Club Kingston at the Norman Manley Airport. General Manager Shelly-Ann Fung-King inspires her team to give of their utmost. One needs to book ahead for their sought-after service.
FAREWELL, GREAT ONES
The first fan letter I ever wrote was to Leonie Forbes after watching her play the mother in Trevor Rhone’s Old Story Time.
During her over 60 years on the Jamaican stage she slipped easily into a range of characters, riveting us with her every expression and movement on stage. She inspired and mentored generations of broadcasters and actors. Indeed, I was surprised to see the comments of young journalists who she called when they mispronounced words and guided them until they got it right.
Leonie Forbes’ contribution to Jamaican theatre is immeasurable. Playwright and actress Dahlia Harris recalled that she was nervous at the thought of performing with Forbes but found her to be a patient mentor. We felt the love when her theatre family staged Basil Dawkins’ Hide Your Husband on her 85th birthday in June. She was radiant with joy. As Jamaica opens up, the theatre community should summon her profound style to preserve our grand theatre tradition.
Members of the Chinese Cultural Association (CCA) looked forward to the presentations of our former President Dr Kai Meng Lui. The well-travelled doctor, who used traditional and Chinese medicine to attract a host of faithful patients, would ply us with fascinating stories accompanied by great photographs. It was only after his passing at a memorial gathering that we realised what a multifaceted individual he was.
The loving husband, father, and grandfather was a valued member of several organisations, including the Photographic Club, the Natural History Science Club, and the Jamaica Amateur Radio Association. He was an energetic organiser of China tours, and as colleague Winsome Mowatt noted, “We just had to show up — Kai Meng took care of everything.”
The tributes offered by his daughter Shu Yin Lui-Morgan and office attendant Jennifer Douglas spoke of a caring family man and a humble doctor who chose to serve in Kingston’s inner city, where he felt no danger, only love from his patients.
Our condolence to the friends and families of Leonie Forbes and Kai Meng Lui. May their souls rest in peace.
lowriechin@aim.com
www.lowrie-chin.blogspot.com