PromiscuitySunday, March 07, 2021
Why, she would hang on him
As if increase of appetite had grown
By what it fed on,
And yet, within a month…
Let me not think on it
Frailty, thy name is woman.
— Shakespeare, Hamlet
That lady was hanging on to that man as if an increase in appetite had grown by what it fed on. And he wasn't talking about food either, rather the appetite that doesn't fill the belly, but consumes the loins. Certainly, it smacks of lust, and she had an appetite that is hard to satisfy and is only satisfied by what is hard. Often these feelings lead to promiscuity, making one become infinitely promiscuous.
But what is it to be promiscuous? Well, there have been various quotes about that, with one being, “A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are.” — Victor Lownes
“Vanity, revenge, loneliness, betrayal, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity.” — Mignon McLaughlin
“Promiscuity is like never reading past the first page, monogamy is like reading the same book over and over.” — Mason Cooley
So many different opinions from a host of people — male and female — about promiscuity. For many participants, it's for pleasure; for others, pain. For some it's a burden; while for some it's a yearning search for an elusive person, the right one.
Whatever it is, promiscuity is a way of life for the human race, and those who aren't indulging are certainly wishing that they were, or wistfully thinking about it. We'll find out who and why, right after these responses to 'Men without women'.
Many of the men who are without women have a sexual relationship with a high-priced lady of the night. The lady is a regular who visits her client on a fixed date of the week, just like a house cleaner who comes to clean the house weekly. Regarding that futuristic sex doll android you mentioned, does she cook and clean as well as give pleasure? If so, men can have the best of all worlds, including a threesome.
In the same way that many women swear off men and choose to live without them, there are also men who prefer not to be involved with women as partners. In many cases it's because they were emotionally burned so badly in the past by a cruel or fickle woman that they just decide to stay clear of all females. Once bitten twice shy is the old saying.
The word promiscuity conjures up scenes of men and women indulging in wanton sex all over the place with gay abandon. I didn't say abandon gays, but with gay abandon, which is an old term used to describe rash, unrestrained, impulsiveness, enthusiasm or zeal. It has nothing to do with gays, although interestingly, research has shown that gay men rank among the most promiscuous people on the planet. That's why HIV/AIDS spread so rapidly, especially in the early stages of the epidemic.
Promiscuity as defined states: The fact or state of being promiscuous, the practice of engaging in sexual activity frequently with different partners or being indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners.
Promiscuity among heterosexuals is also the main reason for the spread of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as gonorrhoea, syphilis, chlamydia, herpes, plus little crawling nasties such as crab lice. Doesn't sound so appealing now, does it? But all that is no deterrent, for promiscuity is the number one indoor sport of mankind. But why?
People are wantonly and exuberantly promiscuous to a great extent and it's usually attributed to teenagers who are discovering and experiencing new and exciting parameters of their sexuality.
They have gigantic urges; they feel, they explore, they indulge, and it brings them great pleasure. Or does it? Well, it does, or they wouldn't participate so much. But, just like drugs, the euphoric feeling is ephemeral, fleeting, short-lived, so they have to move on to different partners to indulge some more, always seeking that maximum fix to get a higher high.
And so the cycle continues. At least that's what the experts with their psycho babble say. But if you ask the average man who is promiscuous, he'll gladly and gleefully gush, “I do it because it's so damn sweet.” That's right, it feels so good.
Yes, a man sleeping around with lots of different women must be having tons of fun, or he wouldn't do it. Mark you, in this terrible time of COVID-19 the risks are great and many challenges are presented, but as the intrepid naval captain said when attacked by submarines, “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.”
Oh yes, in spite of the dangers and attendant pitfalls that are presented, he'll still go ahead with his pursuit of pleasure. This is not new, for men have been promiscuous from the dawn of time. In fact, a man didn't get any ratings unless he bedded countless women during his lifetime. They can then inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Cox Mann, he was a swordsman extraordinaire.”
There's even a term for it, “Sowing your wild oats,” which, of course, only applies to men. Women though, do not get those same accolades for being promiscuous, and this goes across almost all societies and has endured for centuries.
But I put it to you, if you have a son and a daughter, who would you rather be promiscuous, your boy or your girl? Sure you may say neither one but given a hard choice, put to the test, you'd much prefer if your son was the one indulging in that activity rather than your daughter. In fact, secretly, you'd be a little proud of him. “Gwaan my yute, tek after him father.”
You would not feel the same about your daughter's philandering though, and your angst, your anger, your mortification, your disappointment would be peppered with shame. Of note, in some eastern societies many young girls who had sex even once before marriage are put to death by their fathers or brothers. It's deemed 'honour killings'. Sometimes even if she was raped, the punishment is still applied.
“Well, if you put it that way, I see your point.” Of course you do, for a woman who is promiscuous is looked down on by society and called all sorts of disparaging names: slut, mattress, sleaze, nympho, riding horse, pass around donkey and others not fit for airplay.
A man though, oh he's envied by his male peers and secretly admired by women. Interestingly it was Camille Paglia who said, “Promiscuity in men may cheapen love, and sharpen thought. Promiscuity in women is illness, a leakage of identity.” Imagine that, coming from a woman too. But it has been said that many women who are promiscuous are really troubled and conflicted in their mind, body and soul, and indulge in casual sex to fulfil what's missing from their lives.
Many have casual sex and weep afterwards while some have one-night stands hoping that they'll find romance with the right man — and ironically, some hate men deep down. Research has shown that some women who were extremely promiscuous were sexually abused as children, some even by their fathers, and end up with confused and conflicted sexual urges.
That being said, there are those who simply enjoy the act of having sex with different men before they finally settle down. But why don't promiscuous men finally settle down after living a life of libidinous liaisons, salaciously sexual sensual scenarios? Well, the answer may very well lie within this response to the question: Because it feels so good.
What is true is that many men have a hyper sex drive and just have to satisfy their urges. Of course, women have a sex drive too, but perhaps they can exercise more self-control than men. Just recently, this young bride who I know was complaining that her new husband wanted sex too much and she couldn't handle it.
“He wants it all the time, all twice for the day, morning and night.”
That marriage is in early trouble.
What is also true is that you'll find men expressing that they're horny all the time, while women can basically live without sex. Ironically, there are countries where the women are more promiscuous than the men. But that could be attributed to the men being sexless and unable to satisfy these women. If it wasn't COVID-19 time I'm sure many Jamaican men would flock to that country.
All this has to be explored further in future missives. As it is now, gentlemen, be thankful that you sowed your wild oats in the past for there may come a time when all you have are memories. It would be so sad if a man went through life with no colourful memories of ribald, raunchy, rollicking, rambunctious, revelling promiscuity.
Footnote: Well, the COVID-19 wave is here, possibly a tsunami that is wreaking havoc. The protocols of mask-wearing, washing of hands and social distancing cannot be overemphasised, even though there are people who still ignore them. The vaccines are making their mark worldwide and even though we are late out of the blocks, we hope to catch up soon. These vaccines are game-changing, and if you had doubts before about taking them, the possible alternative of contracting the virus is a terrible one. We have seen what COVID-19 can do and what it has been doing around the world and right here in Jamaica. Let's hope that our people can have access to the vaccines when they arrive. And if you're against taking it, well, it's your choice, but science has proven its benefits.
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