Time managementSunday, September 26, 2021
Time is very slow for those who wait,
Very fast for those who are scared,
Very long for those who lament
Very short for those who celebrate
But for those who love, time is eternal.
How you manage time is so important, yet many people have no clue when it comes to managi ng the days, hours, minutes and seconds of each day. We often hear people say, “Oh, I just haven't got the time to do that,” or, “I simply can't find the time to even scratch my head.” But just let a bout of illness tek them and see how much time they have in that bed.
We all get the same months, weeks, days and hours as everyone else, yet how we use them is so different. Now you're going to say, “But my life is different, I have so much more to do than that other person.” In fact, people have told me that they are busier than everyone else, and that's why they can't find time to do anything else.
I know people who run several businesses at the same time, and still find time to do fun stuff, join committees, do civic duties, as well as find time for their family and loved ones. Ah yes, time for the loved ones, which is of utmost importance. In spite of all the other things that you are doing, if you can't find time for your loved ones, your family, children or spouse, then it's all for naught.
“For what should it profit a man, if he should gain the whole world, yet lose his own soul?” are words from the Bible, and if you can't find time for those special people in your life, then your soul is lost. This inability to manage time properly has proven to be the bane of so many relationships. It was the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland who was always scurrying around muttering, “I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date.”
He, like others, had very poor time management skills. We'll see the pitfalls of bad time management right after these timely responses to what I had to say about 'Types of wives'.
I was attracted to the physical beauty of my wife from the first day I saw her and discovered her inner beauty before I married her. She became the perfect mother and wife, never tried to change me, and was good in the kitchen as well as in the bedroom. She was both a housewife and career woman in the financial industry. Not to boast, but I think I lucked out and found a virtuous woman and good wife.
There are so many different types of wives, and thank the Lord for that. Blessed is the man who gets a good wife, for his days will be pleasant and his nights heavenly. But cursed is the man who ends up with a terrible wife, the wild witch of the north, for his days will be a living hell. The danger is, as you said, they hide their true selves until the vows have been said, then the trap is sprung.
Time is important, and yet so many people do not use it wisely. Once gone it cannot be retrieved, and nothing is worse than hearing the lament of someone who said, “If only I had more time.” It's all about time management, and it doesn't matter how much time you have, or how little, you can achieve your objective.
It was Parkinson's Law that stated, “Work will always expand to fill the time necessary for its completion.” In other words, if you give someone two hours to accomplish a task he will do it in that time, yet give him all day to do the same task and he will take all day to do it. That's why some people prefer to pay for the completed job rather than pay per hour.
But this is about time management when it comes to dealing with relationships. It's called quality time for a reason, for time spent with loved ones adds to the quality of the relationship. It seems so simple, so obvious, so lucid, yet it often eludes so many couples, ending in the inevitable conclusion — emotional disaster.
It's a noted fact that the divorce rate is highest among professions such as scientists at NASA, who are always buried in the work, basically married to the space programme. We haven't got those out here, but other professions where people, either through choice or design, spend an inordinate amount of time suffer too.
Policemen, soldiers, travelling journalists, doctors, often have very troubled relationships because of poor time management. One remedy to that is to marry within the profession, police marry police, doctors marry doctors or nurses, parson marry church sister.
Yes, even the clergy, that has a marginally high divorce rate, falls prey to bad time management. So busy administering to the flock he neglects the very sheep that's right under his nose, and the wolf moves in. He is so occupied counselling others that he hasn't got time for his own wife, who then seeks counselling elsewhere. That can be anyone with a listening ear and time for her.
In many cases a female victim of poor time management does not set out to stray, but is simply seeking a little companionship from someone who has time for her. As more time is spent together, that relationship grows into something bigger. This can take years, and the old saying is true, “What stay neglected too long will serve another man.”
“It all began so innocently, my husband was always so busy, had no time for me, and Joe filled that gap.”
Ah bwoy, Joe can be an equal opportunity exploiter when it comes to time management. It's amazing how prevalent this scenario is, where men, and women too, fail to perfect their time management skills and suffer the consequences.
“The man find other woman because his wife had no time for him, she married to her church.”
There are men who always find time to do other things except spend time with their spouses. They are here, there, everywhere, involved in social clubs, sporting bodies, neighbourhood associations, lodge, civic groups, all at the expense of the wife.
But aha! There is a flip side to this: some secret, sinister, sneaky, slick reason why he's so involved in all those extramarital activities… he wants to spend as little time with his spouse as possible. Could this really be true, could some men be so dastardly, devilishly, diabolically deceitful that they actually develop a master plan of deceptive time management, just to get away from the wife?
Naah! Men are not that clever, not that smart, neither could they stoop so low. Wink.
“No, honey, it's not that I didn't want to spend more time with you, but I have so much to do. They need me.”
It happens so often, where a man always has something else to do, somewhere else, with somebody else, every weekend. Is that poor time management, or just a master plan of spousal avoidance? One thing is true, these current lockdowns, curfews and no-movement days have made many wives happier, as the man's wings are clipped and he has to stay home.
Ironically, some couples discover that all this new time spent together is not necessarily a good thing, as they really can't stand each other's company for any sustained period of time.
“I preferred it when he was busy, now I can't stand to see him so much around the house.”
When a wife is always too busy on Fridays or Saturday nights with her girlfriends, or even with work-related issues, that's poor time management. Weekends should be quality time for couples, yet that is the time when one party seems to be always too busy for the other. At times they don't even leave the house, but spend time doing everything else except spending time with their partner.
But nature abhors a vacuum, and so do relationships. That void left by poor time management on the part of one spouse is often filled by an opportunistic other with great time management skills.
Time once wasted cannot be regained, and that means time with your partner too.
“What happened to them, they used to spend so much time together?”
“Oh, they got too busy and drifted apart as time went on.”
“Better three hours too soon than a minute too late, let every man be master of his time. Things without all remedy should be without regard, what's done is done, make use of time, let not advantage slip.” — Shakespeare.
Time is all that we have, and how we use it is so important. It's all a matter of priorities really, what we deem to be important and what's not. Manage your time before time manages you.
Footnote: COVID fatigue is real, and affects people in different ways, one being the tedious waiting at institutions. I went to license my vehicle at the tax office and it took over two hours. Fortunately I factored that time and prepared for it, but other folks were so frustrated. Mark you, I must admit that the service at Constant Spring Tax Office is most efficient with their numbering system despite the huge volume of people.
Another area of fatigue involves missing the movies. Oh how I miss going to Carib cinema, a pleasure I have enjoyed from childhood. It breaks my heart to see what they are going through. Just to adhere to the protocols makes people weary, but we have to endure, we cannot give up.