A bad investment

MAKING an investment in a partner should be taken as seriously as deciding what stock to buy on the market. After all, you don't have time or funds to waste by making a bad gamble. Similarly, when it comes to matters of the heart, you don't want to put time, money and effort into getting to know someone, only for them to end up being a dud who disappoints.

What if there was a way to tell that someone would be a bad lover, for example, before you actually get to the point where you're running a bubble bath and playing Marvin Gaye? Is there a way to tell by their tone or actions to save you time before you are actually disappointed in the bedroom?

Yes, these people we interviewed stated, just read on.

Merrick, 28:

If she drives any of these cars — a Vitz, a Note, Tiida or a Passo — then keep walking bro. If added to that she has copies of the Daily Bread in her home, purse or vehicle and still uses Far Away perfume or any Avon or Bath and Body Works brand, she'll be bad, really bad in the romance department. And if you have a problem with it, she will curse you out and call you an imbecile.

Jessica, 31:

If he's quiet and listens while you talk, and knows good musicians and basically does his own thing, he will be a good lover. Look out for the boys who play records and have song selections from the 70s and 80s in their car. The ones who drink White Zinfandel or whiskey neat, and who will look into your eyes while you talk, they will be the most romantic, thorough lovers. The opposite — the loud-mouths who are wearing tight pants in parties and doing the 'rifle walk' are the ones who will disappoint you.

Georgia, 24:

It's all in the kiss, and I've proved this to be true. If you kiss him deeply and it's not great, and he's all over your face slobbering like a German shepherd, then he won't be great in bed either. Great kissers make the best lovers.

Jen, 32:

A good, kind, thoughtful and generous lover will do things to make you feel good – example, he will compliment you, remember things about you like your favourite flowers, food and restaurants, and is chivalrous. If he's also very open-minded and is not 'bunning out' any acts or choices people make about their love lives, he will be good. Tried, tested and proven.

Samuel, 40:

There's a direct correlation between a woman who can dance, and one who won't just lie there in bed like a piece of 2x4. And I'm not talking about the head top stuff; I'm talking about the woman who can get down and wine, and match your body rhythm to rhythm. Also, if she's shy otherwise, but is very open about discussing what she wants, she will impress you a lot.

SUZANNE HILL

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