THERE is a saying that goes, “If he had kept his mouth shut, we might have thought him clever”.

Has this thought ever crossed your mind about anyone? It is better not to join in a discussion when you really have nothing to contribute than to do so and end up looking like a fool. Instead, just pay attention, smile, nod, and try to look intelligent. If you are called upon to say something, you could say you haven’t given the subject enough thought to voice an opinion or ask your audience to let you get back to them on the subject or something like that.

It is not a crime to be unable to participate in

every discussion.

However, if the case is that you never have anything to add to any discussion, your image will be in serious trouble. Here are some tips to build your communication skills.

Read as much as you can

Select material that is relevant to your sphere and talk about what you know, this raises confidence and makes for better conversation. Take the time to look up any unfamiliar words you may come across as this will broaden your vocabulary. Since topical subjects are likely to be raised in mixed gathering, take a look at varying opinions and arguments on the matters you find interesting before forming and voicing your own take on them.

Listen to everybody

Wisdom is said to be the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would have preferred to talk. It is a mistake to restrict your listening to those who share your point of view since you need to know the other side of an argument in order to fairly come to a conclusion or counter that argument.

Practise public speaking

Start with an audience of two people with whom you are comfortable and whose opinions you trust. Bounce your views off them and be open to their responses. Accept invitations to functions as opportunities to practise and gain confidence. Volunteer to speak to a group of 10, 20, 50, and 100 people; before you know it, you will be comfortable addressing 1,000 people. The key is to pretend you are only addressing the first two people with whom you are comfortable.

Anticipate who will be at the next function

Research their activities so you can flatter these individuals with your knowledge of their accomplishments. This is an excellent way of warming up to people you are meeting for the first time.

Practise intra-communication

This means rehearsing what you would like to say in your own mind before you actually say it. Intra-communication will help you to control what you say and how you say it because the practice allows you to think before you speak.

In your effort to become a first-class orator, bear in mind the prolix speaker is a turn-off. Like any other part of the body, your mouth needs rest. Have you ever observed somebody overthrow a conversation: chatting on and on, giving nobody else a chance to participate in what is being said? What impression did you form of that person? Former journalist E W Howe reminds us that no man would listen to us talk if he didn’t know it was his turn next.

If you think you may be too lengthy, the way to help your audience (and yourself) is to watch for their signals. Do they look alert, comfortable and attentive? Or are they restless and fidgety, talking to each other, falling asleep or leaving? If you are getting the latter signals, it’s time for you to wrap-up your speech or your part of the conversation.

Also, it is paramount that you do not say something just to say something. Remember, it’s a special kind of fool who talks simply to hear the sound of his own voice. In addition, don’t talk just about yourself.

Equally important is your ability to separate

the inferential from the observational. Tempting though it may be to portray inferred information as factual information, the cost to your credibility could be high if the truth turns out to be different.

If you are to make a speech, it is most important that you know your audience’s likely attitude toward your subject. This knowledge should influence the content of your presentation as it will affect the way your audience receives your message. Assess your audience’s educational, political, socio-cultural, and socio-economic make-up before your appearance.

Be sensitive about such factors as the time of day and the environmental conditions under which you speak. What is the weather like? Is the room stuffy? Might your audience be anxious to get home after a long day? You may have to shorten your contribution, not because you are uninteresting but because your audience may be physically or mentally uncomfortable.

Whether you are the main speaker at a large event or you are merely participating in conversation at a dinner party, these suggestions will assist you in your discourse. In time, like your favourite orator, you, too, can learn to be articulate, authoritative, considerate, witty, eloquent, and confident whenever you have something to say.

Viv Turnbull is an image and communication consultant. She may be reached at vivturnbull@yahoo.com.