Last week’s column entitled “Don’t blow your nose in the napkin” drew a number of questions and commentary in the form of emails and phone calls on two of the topics we explored. Most of the discussions surrounded the picture of the table setting and also on the placement of the napkin.

Table Setting

A few readers commented on the location of the salad fork in that place setting, one such email question was “…. I am a bit confused, for years my Grandmother taught me that you use your cutlery from outside in – if that is true then your place settings for salad is incorrect. Pls comment”

My response was : Your grandmother was right. Not all cultures/dining styles serve the salad first. Often in North America the salad is served prior to the main course. In this case, the salad fork is positioned the furthest from the plate on the left. One would use this fork first. In the case of French style dining, the salad would be served after the main course. In this case, the salad fork would be positioned next to the plate as it was in the picture. So …going with the outside-in guidance is still correct.

Napkin Placement

Question: “…I would like to know why it is unacceptable to tuck the napkin across your chest/breast at a function. You see, I was grown believing this to be acceptable and have been teaching my children that this is as acceptable as it is in the lap”

My Response: This is mainly a cultural thing and as we get most of our etiquette rules from the British, most of our rules and guidelines are from them. So dining at formal establishments here in Jamaica, in the US or in the UK, you would observe the general ‘Napkin etiquette’ for the placement in the lap, not using it as a wash cloth, and the final placement when you are done. Other cultures handle it differently, for example in Italy I recently read and I quote “…Diners from Southern Italy have long known that a bowl of spaghetti topped with marinara sauce can be better enjoyed when you don’t have to worry about the red stuff splattering on your shirt. Many Italian and Italian-American diners therefore tuck the napkin into their collars as a matter of course.” So if you remember the old saying “When in Rome… do as the Romans do” this will apply at the dining table.

Seating arrangements

On the day that the article was published, my wife and I had dinner with the Ambassadors of Argentina, Brazil, Colombia, Chile, Japan, Mexico, Spain and some of their spouses. Inspired by the article, we had interesting discussions on matters of protocol, etiquette and we learned a great deal about how some everyday greetings like the handshake were ‘invented’. The dinner table settings and seating arrangements at the Chilean Ambassador’s residence were immaculate and well thought out.

Knowing who is to sit where can often be a touchy business. Precedence at table can lead to hurt feelings and indignation among families as well as diplomats. Guidelines do exist, here are a few:

1. When there is but a single table, the host and hostess usually sit at opposite ends, or occasionally in the centre of the table facing each other. When multiple tables are needed, the host and hostess may be at separate tables in which case you may wish to opt for a co-host and co-hostess.

2. A rule that has all kinds of interesting psychological implications says that married people are never seated side by side, but those engaged are seated side by side whenever possible.

3. For informal dining, it is wise to have the host in a seat close to the kitchen.

4. Try to mix up family and friends, you will be fostering new relationships and also facilitating conversation.

Governments and the military do have their own protocol guidelines.

Who pays the lunch bill?

Here is an interesting question and answer from The Protocol School of Washington. Question: I was invited to lunch by a woman associate and felt uncomfortable when she reached for the check and paid it by credit card. Even though she invited me, I was prepared to pay. Was I wrong to make this assumption?

Answer: Yes, you were indeed wrong. Either gender may pay for a meal. The determining factor is who invited whom.

Cheers! Do not use the napkin as your handkerchief.

Chris Reckord is an independent wine consultant who operates DeVine Wine Services with his wife Kerri-Anne. Chris & Kerri are also part owners of Jamaica’s first and only wine-only bar -Bin 26 Wine Bar. Please send your questions and comments to creckord@gmail.com . Follow us on twitter.com/DeVineWines

Editor’s Note: Your napkin travels (meaning it can travel from the lap to tucked in if eating seafood or Italian fare). There are napkins too, designed to clip over that very expensive silk tie to prevent staining. If on an aircraft you might want to place your napkin high to prevent spillage in the event of unexpected turbulence. Your napkin is returned to the table on completion of your meal. If you leave your table to return place the napkin either on the seat of your chair or on one of the chair handles.

What I am drinking this week: Trio Chardonnay

While they call this wine a Chardonnay, that’s only 70 per cent of the story. Three white grapes complement each other in Trio Chardonnay providing a fresh and well-balanced wine with intense aromas and a juicy and mineral acidity.

Its base, 70 per cent Chardonnay, gives the blend structure, a hint of semi-tropical fruits and a balanced acidity. The 15 per cent Pinot Grigio adds sophistication through its citrus and mineral notes, while the 15 per cent Pinot Blanc confers freshness and elegance.