Let Hercules himself

Do what he may,

The cat will mew,

And dog will have his day.

— Shakespeare, Hamlet V, 1

THEY say that every puss has his day, and every dog has his four o’clock, at least that’s an old Jamaican proverb that indicates that everyone will have their 15 minutes of fame to shine. But it seems as if dogs are the preferred animal over cats, and indeed so much so, that they are deemed to be man’s best friend.

Loyalty, obedience, unconditional love, are but a few of the characteristics of these canine creatures. And yet, women still equate men with dogs in a disparaging way, which is a mystery to me. After all, how can you love a dog, yet hate a man and call him a dog when they are one and the same?

Even to this day, people still remember that column I wrote titled ‘All men are dogs’ which caused such a stir among men and women. The irony is, it was a woman who supplied me with the research information. But we’ll get to that right after this feedback.

Tony,

I thank you for touching on this very sensitive subject of rape. It is something that occurs so often but, for some reason, is not fully exposed. In many cases, the victim is made out to be the villain and thereby suffers twice for the crime that was meted out to her. Many times the scrutiny, suspicion and interrogation are almost equal to the act itself. And this often comes even from family members. Thank God for the police rape unit that has assisted so many unfortunate victims.

Marsha

Teerob,

A fine article, but sadly you failed to mention the other victim of rape… the husband or boyfriend of the rape victim. What he has to go through afterwards is often an extremely difficult burden to bear. He has to console his woman, yet not show any weakness on his part, and he also does not know how or when to approach her to offer affection. She may accept him or reject him, as in her mind, all men are enemies of her body. Sex may never be the same again. He suffers too, and ever so often the relationship breaks down as the burden is too much to bear. Rape has so many victims.

Oral

Mr Robinson,

Thank you for bringing to light this subject that permeates all echelons of our society, with the victims ranging from infants to old ladies, and perpetrated by the poor, the middle-class, the rich, the uneducated and the educated among us. Only that they call it different names, but it’s the same sick thing… rape.

Denice

Dogs seem to have it made, and have been an integral part of our lives for centuries. Why these creatures adopted us and show us so much love is a mystery, but they are here to stay and enrich our lives. Everyone loves dogs — children, women and men — and when these animals go missing or die, the grief is often equal to that of when someone dies. It’s a regular occurrence to see ads posted in the press for missing dogs, with rewards of hundreds of thousands of dollars offered, and some women have even placed their dogs above men.

It is true that men have said, “Listen man, it’s a fact that dogs are above husbands.” And I have seen this first-hand, as women pamper and cuddle their pets without even a cursory glance at their husbands. Many husbands have to wait until the dog is fed before he gets his meal, and the reason that the wife gives is, “You can help yourself, but poor Poochie can’t.” Hence the term, “Dog nyam yu supper.”

I have also seen where women, when given a choice, actually choose their dogs over their men when the man gives the ultimatum of, “Either the damn dog goes or I go.”

“Well, see ya then,” is

her reply.

I have even heard of a situation where this couple broke up because the woman insisted on having her dog in the bed with them. It’s a dog’s life, I tell you.

Then there are those women who have no man, but focus more attention on their dogs than they would to a newborn baby. They treat those little pooches with such nauseating love and affection that it makes you wonder if they think that the animals are human. They talk to them in long sentences and even ask them questions in the hope that they’ll answer.

“Oh Poochie, Mumsie loves you so, yes she does, she does…. come give me a hug… oh Poochie, what did you do with my brush? Poochie,

do you want your din

din now? You want to watch TV instead…?”

If you don’t own a dog and visit these women, you’ll be shocked and amazed at how they treat them. I have visited homes and heard women tell me that the dog doesn’t think that he’s a dog and she doesn’t treat him like one because she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. She shows more attention to the little mutt

than she does to her visitors and every conversation is punctuated with stories of the little cur.

Who remembers that lady who came on TV bawling about her lost dog and exclaimed that the dog was her life, and that she’d give anything to get it back. I think she offered over $200,000 for the safe return of her dog. Hey, I’m not knocking it, for in many cases, dogs love and treat people better than people treat and love their fellow human beings.

Still, we all know that this new-found love for dogs by women is a relatively modern phenomenon. Men were the original lovers of dogs, and if you ask any old-timer, he’ll tell you that women used to resent how men treated dogs back in the day.

Well, I found some of those old-timers who regaled me with stories, plus a history of why men loved dogs so much, and why some men even

used to prefer the company of dogs over wives. This was buttressed by secret e-mails from some not-so-old-timers who can’t let their wives know how they feel.

The first thing that one man said was that dogs don’t nag, and that the later that he came home, the more excited his dog was to see him. In contrast, his wife would curse him when he came home late. Another added, “If by chance I called my dog by another name by mistake, he wouldn’t care, but not so my wife. One day I called her by her best friend’s name and I haven’t heard the last of it since.”

Another thing is, dogs don’t care about bad habits, and, “If I leave the toilet seat up, my dog actually prefers it, as he can drink when he wants, but my wife makes a scene whenever I do that.”

What was also brought to the table was the fact that raising your voice to your dog works all the time, but does not have the same effect on your wife. Speak to your dog softly, in dulcet tones, tell him to go outside and see if he moves. Now raise your voice in a stern commanding tone, shouting, “Bruno, get off the couch this minute,” and see what happens. Now try the same thing with your wife and compare the reaction.

Dogs are always ready to do anything, but not so wives. Just say, “Come, let’s go outside and play,” and your dog doesn’t hesitate. Not so wives, who have a slew of excuses, especially if you want to play your favourite game with her.

And hear this now, dogs do not ask questions or harass, but are always happy for your company. Which brings up the other point, dogs don’t care if they smell another dog on you. Maybe you visited a friend and played with his dog, then came home. Your dog wouldn’t care. Not so your wife though, who would give you hell for the next few months if she smelled another woman on you.

What is true is that dogs almost never leave, and it’s only if he’s treated very badly that a dog will leave a house and go to live somewhere else. You may have seen rare cases where dogs start to eat and sleep next door, all because the neighbour treats him better than you did. He finds his comfort zone and relishes it. When that dog leaves, he just leaves, and takes nothing with him. Not so wives, though, who will take not only a half of what you own, but also what they came and saw you with. You are the gift that keeps on giving.

And the final proof and test of a dog’s unconditional love is this. Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for a couple of hours, then see who is happier to see you when you finally let them out. And that’s why dogs are a man’s best friend.

I thank my friends for the research, via e-mail and secret codes hidden from their wives. Dog days can be fun days, and a dog’s love is precious, but some people put dogs first and now we know why. So when someone complains and says, “She treats me like a dog,” the response should be, “Man, you are so lucky, based on how women treat dogs nowadays.”

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: And so the chickens have come home to roost and the fat lady is singing the blues. For decades, many among us have embraced crime as a cultural icon, glorifying it, defending it, idolising it. The gun lyrics are sprayed across our airwaves and the music videos elevate badmanism. But when reality hits, and it hits hard, the

tears and grief are heavy. All those intellectuals who were justifying those violent songs, saying that they have no effect, think again. If music can soothe the savage beast, why can’t it also enrage? Gun salutes, even by the young, are prevalent, and the media continue to showcase this violence masquerading as entertainment. When criminals can shoot up hospitals and ambulances it makes you wonder about the mindset of these people. Even in war between nations, ambulances and Red Cross vehicles offer safe haven. We must stop justifying and glorifying crime. I think many people are waking up now, though.