Problems and solutions
Dear TEENage,
I’m a 13-year-old second form student at an all-girls institution. I have two older sisters who are in the fifth and sixth forms of the same school. They are overachievers. Literally!
They have topped their classes each year and are teachers’ pets.
Everywhere I go I hear someone discussing how brilliant they are. It’s like I have no identity at school. No one calls me by name and refers to me as ‘the sister’.
I came 11th last year and I think I’m going to come even lower this year. I don’t know what to do. I’m so afraid to disappoint my family and the people who expect me to pass. I think I’m already doing that and I’m really sad. I just… (Sigh). Help.
— Underachiever
Dear Underachiever,
It’s not unexpected that you feel this way. The first thing you need to do is forget about your family and the people who pressure you with expectations. Aim to please yourself first.
Pleasing others will come later or as a result of pleasing yourself. Try not to be jealous of, or dislike your sisters because they have made their names. Take this as a challenge to establish your name too.
What you could do is ask your sisters to help you with your schoolwork and with studying as they have already covered the work you’re doing. Don’t cut them off. You have an unfair advantage of having two overachievers at your disposal. Don’t think for a moment that they did it on their own, or that you can do it on your own. You need help.
Revisit last year and see what you did wrong. Work on your weak areas and you’ll be surprised at how you improve. As for the name part, when persons refer to you as ‘the sister’, gently correct them and tell them your name. They’ll get it sooner or later. Good luck.
TEENage Advice Team