THE patois stocks hit a record high last year and patois stakeholders are happy. With investment in a Patois Bible, entertainment, money for English as a second language (ESL), interpreters in London and New York, the patois industry thrives. The industry is run by and for Jamaicans. Who else? Though not used in business, academia or the state, it is our local argot, our culture and adds to our notoriety and our income.

In 2003 a Trinidad Rasta, Michael De Sousa, and English illustrator, Genny Webster, created Rastamouse children’s books. They are a hit with kids of all races; the “Rastois” and English blend is spicy. It’s a good day for creativity, unity and patois as many kids embrace our bilingual heritage with aplomb. In book form the stories were hidden from illiterates; but Rastamouse is now on TV. Jamaican adults see it and “dem vex bad”! Our ignorance and xenophobia are appalling when others use our patois – we saw it with the film Cool Runnings. Who criticises Australian Russell Crowe when he speaks American? Or Brad Pitt using German patois? No one! We go ballistic! The news says Levi Roots and Kwesi Johnson are Rastamouse detractors. Why? It shows off patois as uplifting. Is this about “who blacker than who”? or “most rastafied of all Rastas”? Why censor creativity? Why diss the Trini? Some say patois in Rastamouse is not as we speak, but how many of them speak English like the English? No one embarrasses them when they mangle the Queen’s English. Others say Rasta is a lion, not a mouse. I say Rasta is man! Who made them patois police? Rasta expert? Diaspora topanaris, Rasta must live and let live! Other Rasta must “eat a food” too!

I read one Rastamouse book. He is a secret agent who caught the wily Bandulu. I love the character. As a child I read Dangermouse and Supermouse comics. Many of our own can’t read or don’t read; they know lewd lyrics word for word, but are strangers to kid-friendly, conscious words on paper. Some Rastas don’t know their polyglot roots. Rasta is world culture; the core is Christian; the locks, robes, ganja are Indian, an Ethiopian king and local flair. We can’t rewrite history, just live with it.

When Rasta diss a Rasta who uses creativity to educate kids, it is wicked. Dem nuh own Rasta! Mickeymouse, Churchmouse cause no aggro as all God’s creatures are good. Our culture is not in aspic. It is alive and there is space for more than one “tame Rasta” in England. Rastamouse is important. If a Trini Rasta can embed our bilingual and multi-hued culture in British and global kids, more power to our brand! Miss Lou would love it – she lived for kids. (Why is Mass Ran ignored when he was the comic genius of the duo?) Rastamouse is uplift. Read it to your kids. Good for brand Jamaica!

The output of the patois industry is entertainment, not faith, scholarship or business. This creative stream is narrow and polluted by lewd, misogynistic, misanthropic, homophobic, violent and sexualised images in patois. Our entertainment export in English is zilch, so we are not mainstream. Good global works in patois are rare and erode the nasty image which marks patois. Our diaspora must wake up. For patois to be a proud, viable culture, we must rescue it from those who shame Miss Lou’s legacy. Rastamouse will help clean up things. Long live Rastapuss! Let our children read!

I am amazed at how Spanish has developed in Cuba. It is now more Castilian but has all the local richness. Reading aloud in public is now entrenched. Some 40 years ago I studied the practice (commended it to our literacy gurus) and saw it often while on business trips. Reading for workers on the job means literacy retention and they have no lapsed literates as we do. The paid orator in the factory or farm reads the book of the week. Workers know passages and gain pronunciation and vocabulary. ESL is not new. Our French and Spanish teachers do it daily. Immersion is the key; just listen and speak English daily. I recently heard the Da Vinci Code read in a Cuban factory. Worker absenteeism is low as no one wants to miss a chapter. England, home of English, has many reading sessions on radio and TV as they boost competence. All education is not at school. Let’s copy these examples and achieve full literacy.

The patois industry is alive; our experts make money, control the market as it’s not attractive to others – a dead end. In UK courts our bad men use patois interpreters to prove they did not know English when caught selling drugs. Don’t try that with our judges! Should Buju try, “No speaka da Eeenglesh” in the Florida court? Too late!

Rich man, diaspora Rasta gang up on Rastamouse but there are bigger issues. I try to get Patois Bibles for literacy experiments with Jamaicans in prison, but men of God in JA want big money for them. Is there a free Gideon one? “Dem man deh doan care”. I vex! They came illiterate, deport them “same way”. It’s your problem now, Reverend!

The patois-English issue is a no-brainer. Learning is natural for kids. For millenia kids learn language from parents. Kids are like sponges from womb to age five, and soak up every word or deed. Be proper around them. Don’t blame kids. Blame parents as they speak patois around the infants. If kids hear as much English, they will speak both. No child learns to speak at school. Better dumb parents and an English radio than illiterate ones. If kids hear and use English each day we save millions in primary, secondary, tertiary education; as will employers who have to remedy bad English.

Sandals and Gordon Butch Stewart are global heavy lifters and continue to produce for Jamaica above and beyond the call of duty. Superbrands UK rates them on quality, reliability, distinction in the second quartile of the 500 top consumer superbrands. It is the only hotel group, and no brand from Africa, China, Latin America or India made the cut. Some are old (Guinness, 1759), others new (Blackberry, 2000); first is Mercedes-Benz, second Rolex. Among business superbrands first is Rolls-Royce, second Blackberry. I wrote about our need to create ventures and brands to serve big foreign markets – import materials, transform them for export – and our small market will benefit by default. Sandals do this! Few locals can afford a holiday but a posh hotel room is cheaper for us as in this business model, visitors “pay the freight” and locals ride for free – almost. Which hotel group rates Whitehouse Hotel above Sandals? None, Sir, just pay us a fair price! Success is contagious, get infected! Stay conscious!

Dr Franklin Johnston is an international project manager with Teape-Johnston Consultants currently on assignment in the UK.

franklinjohnston@hotmail.com