EASTER has come and gone. Lenten sacrifices have long been forgotten and over-indulgence returns to many lives.

Some of us spent our Easter weekend the holy way by attending services and mass. I hope you saw the shock registered on the faces of the regular attendees who haven’t seen you since last Christmas in that setting. Others, like me, threw their hard-earned cash into revelry at the various events ‘celebrating’ Easter. Bacchanal, Chocolate Bunnies, Chic, Luau and Rapids have now become standard Easter fare for the party-holics venturing to Ocho Rios, although these events have nothing to do with the season except maybe causing heartache through generous ‘bun’ giving of wayward partners. Anyway, it matters not how you spent it, just be grateful we made it through and are still here safe and sound.

Some headlines actually overshadowed Easter and its customary or recent calendar events, chief among them being the royal wedding. Over the last couple of weeks we have been bombarded with news, views and interviews of activities leading up to today’s nuptials of Prince William and Catherine Middleton. I feel for these two love birds. Cameras at every possible holding of hands, every kiss being documented, poor lovers have to be on their British P’s and Q’s lest, God forbid, they slip up and cause a royal scandal. Background checks on the wife-to-be, down to where she went to prep school and what her grades were, how much formula her grandma fed her as a baby, and where she buys her clothes. The media are in such heat about this wedding that what they can’t research…they are making up.

I couldn’t cope under that kind of scrutiny, no sir! Before so me bust an elope and everybody, including the Queen mother, would have to read about it the following day in the daily paper. Can you imagine the pressure they must be under? Even the USA, which usually seems to have no interest in anything other than their own affairs, has reporters and media teams camped out in London to witness this event. Good luck to the couple, I hope they can survive the media frenzy and still live proverbially happily ever after. I wonder if I will catch a glimpse of self-appointed cousin to Queen Elizabeth, LA Lewis, when pictures from the wedding circulate. I wouldn’t be surprised, he claims on Facebook that he has gotten an invitation and will be in attendance, so don’t start laughing just yet.

Prince Charles must to be conflicted, at this point. He is going to be happy for his firstborn on his wedding day, but I feel in the back of his head a small sprig of ‘bad mind’ might be sprouting over the crown. Walk with me down the twisted path of my warbled thoughts for a minute. Can you image waiting all of your life to take over the ‘big chair’; wear the crown and rule over your kingdom, and all when you back bend and you old and grey, mommy still sprightly as ever with no signs of caving soon.

That would cause my bad mind to sprout…a little. Hopefully, he will squelch that hateful seed and resist the urge to trip his son as he walks down the 20-mile bridal path waving to millions of unknown well-wishers. My advice to Prince William would be to also get on with the business of life and harbour no desire for that coveted piece of head gear. Queen Elizabeth seems to be bathing in two per cent skim milk and drinking copious amounts of Oil of Olay on a daily basis. The woman looks the same today as she did when I was a child, and I can assure you she will be around to watch her great grandchildren grow up.

Before my British readers get their knickers in a knot, let me just say that I greatly admire the Queen and hope to visit her one day soon, just not during royal wedding and honeymoon season because I don’t deal well with crowds and the paparazzi follow me everywhere, especially on Twitter @ElvaJamaica. Have another great weekend folks and try not to stress out the police.

elvachatalot@yahoo.com