I recently made a guest appearance on the morning show on CVM TV and the topic was: Should a woman date a man strictly for financial purposes?

I noticed they didn’t address whether it was wrong or right for men to do date women solely to get at their money, but I’ll leave that for another day’s worth of writing.

Society sends conflicting messages on this subject, at least conflicting to me. As one of the female presenters on the show pointed out, back in the day the man was the breadwinner . Women could not vote, own property or work, so it is engrained in us to ‘find a man to mind us’. We have evolved past that stage and women have made great strides since the dark ages. But has the mindset changed? Pop culture also embraces this theory, one popular song that comes readily to mind says “If a man want it mek him pay down pon it”. That must have been the ‘lay’ away plan, since the more I think about it, who determines the deposit and when will he stop paying down? Will he ever truly ‘own’ it? Ethics, rules, morals and laws suggest that any exchange of money for sexual favours is implied prostitution, so that raises the question: Is a woman who vets her prospective mate’s financial standing or demands/ accepts cash or kind before engaging a prostitute? And how does one differentiate?

As I’ve said on many occasions, I sit in judgment of no one. Everybody has to carry their own basket to the well and if I was to turn the lamp onto myself, this would be a whole other type of column. My mumma drill it in my head, as did many other mothers, that as a young lady I should strive to be independent and seek a husband that is worthy of my affection, but she also subliminally hinted that such a man should be ambitious. This man should be able to financially support me. Was poor, dear, old mama telling me to practise prostitution? She is going to murder me, when she reads this, but it’s a serious question.

When we encourage our daughters to do such and then say to them that prostitutes are the scum of the earth, how are they to cope? Coping was easy for me. I simply picked sense out of nonsense. I decided long ago that I would never directly ask a man for money, but use reverse psychology. I simply pour out my heart and soul about my ill-managed financial affairs, real or imagined, then if he felt like donating I would consider it a ‘gift’. See, I’m smart like that sometimes. It hasn’t worked to date, but at least I have that plan in place.

As I said on the show, I do not fit the profile of the type of woman that men give their money to. From my limited observations, these women are usually petite, giggle while they speak in low, slow girlish voices, act defenceless, sip from straws and can follow orders. In other words, you must have ‘trophy appeal’. I really don’t see a man taking me out to show off to his friends in my dancehall get-up, slurping from the bottle and passing gas after each gut-busting laugh, it just won’t happen, but I keep hope alive. I will share this with you my readers, if it wasn’t for my strong aggressive, dominating and fiercely independent nature I think I could seriously appreciate being a ‘kept’ woman. Not having to work for a living, wear the latest designer clothes, just go to the spa during the day — with at least four top line vacations per year. I could really dig that. It beats giving it away with nothing but some crawny text messages to show for all my hard ‘work’.

Lump it or like it, that’s just the way it is. Thanks to all the people on Facebook and Twitter who participated during the show and even now, it is appreciated. Have a great weekend everybody and please remember to try and recycle, Mother Earth needs your help. Twitter: @ElvaJamaica or email me at elvachatlot@yahoo.com