“It helps to remember that it is still a man’s world,” Beverley-Anderson Manley, who was married to Michael Manley from 1972 to 1990, tells SO. Indeed in her political day, so to speak, it may have been, but is this the case now? And if it is, do the women who are married to politicians really mind? Or do they accept the role gladly?

Neadene Tufton who is married to the present minister of industry, investment and commerce, Dr Christopher Tufton, says that a woman in her situation must have an appreciation of what the position actually entails, be prepared to stand behind one’s spouse, and give him the freedom to carry out his duties. It is a mantle which Tufton has relished, particularly as she recognises “how much Chris has grown and achieved, and knowing that the support that I give him plays a tremendous part in his success”.

It may well be a man’s world, but she is running her own business in May Pen, raising three children, and yet obviously deems the political journey as a team effort between herself and her husband, with her role being the backbone of the person in power — Dr Tufton.

Anderson-Manley says, “If you are struggling to be an independent woman, who, while sharing his dream, want to hold on to yours, this can bring tension into the marriage, and often it is the wife who submerges her dream into that of her husband.” It’s no secret that her 18-year marriage to the man who was prime minister of Jamaica between 1972 and 1980 and 1989 and 1992 was not without its share of problems. Holding ideological views, this leading lady was very much involved in her former husband’s party, which often caused some tension between the couple.

With the wisdom and perspective which she holds now, would Anderson-Manley have done things differently? One would think so, as she currently stresses that one should “never, ever neglect the marriage. Insist on spending time together as a couple, as well as spending time with your children, other family members and friends. Prevent all-consuming politics from determining your entire lives.”

The seventies must have been an exciting time to have been the wife of the prime minister, as it was pretty volatile for the rest of us who resided here. So would it really have been feasible for the Manley family to escape from politics, even for a moment? And truthfully, is any political wife able to get time for herself? Or do we expect them all to face every pie thrown in their direction?

Ann Marie Vaz, who is married to minister without portfolio, in the Office of the Prime Minister, with responsibility for telecommunications and public sector efficiency, Daryl Vaz, has certainly survived some messy misconceptions and she insists that personal space is essential. All it takes is a little organisation to balance family life with being political wife, and then “I try to take a little time out of each day for myself, to do something for me,” she says.

In order to do this, in a world which makes heavy demands on the time of a woman in her position, she must learn to choose what is salient, and when to say no to the requests made of her. “If not,” says Carla Seaga, who since 1997 has been married to the former leader of the Jamaica Labour Party, Edward Seaga, “you will simply burn out.” Wouldn’t anyone?

The difference is, those of us who are able to lead a more private existence, we have the privilege of withdrawing from things without public scrutiny. Someone like Carla Seaga does not have such luxury, so whenever she fell short of public expectations, she tried to keep her sense of humour. “After all,” she says, “we are all human.”

One person who certainly sees the irony of the lives each one of them lives is Lileith Mullings, who is married to the retired MP and Deputy Prime Minister (under PJ Patterson) Seymour Mullings. Recounting the insane amount of time that her husband spent working, she tells S O that due to the pair taking their daughter everywhere they went, the only child still jokes that she always felt like a handbag! Was this the only way she could see her parents? Would it have been better to be sheltered from the political limelight and raised by a nanny?

Pauline Samuda, who is married to the Jamaica Labour Party’s former minister of industry, commerce and investment, Karl Samuda, doesn’t seem to think so. “When the children were younger, I focused a lot of time on their upbringing and education, but never sheltered them from the political process,” she tells S O. “It’s been like a family business for us,” she quips.

While Rose Davies PhD, who is a senior lecturer at the University of the West Indies, Mona, sees the great value of the work her spouse Omar Davies, the one-time minister of finance, is engaged in, she does not believe that politics should intrude on family affairs. “It becomes unpleasant when it affects your children and family in various ways. They are not allowed to just live their regular lives as young people because they are subject to, and sensitive about, public opinions and comments on their own parent that they find difficult to reconcile with the person they know,” laments Davies. She is right, of course. These can be cruel, especially if false or distorted.

However, can parents protect their children from everything? And are there political families that are somewhat exempt from the meddling of the media? Retired physical education teacher Joline Whiteman, who is married to retired PNP minister and former Jamaican High Commissioner to the United Kingdom, Burchell Whiteman, says, “We probably suffered less than others from the media.” Could it be because her husband was “respected by both parties, and by the public in general, for his integrity, his work, and his attitude?” In fact, wasn’t Burchell Whiteman recently credited as being one of the most admired politicians of our time?

Karl Samuda, on the other hand, has endured an abundant amount of malicious bashing. “Well, let’s just say that it is certainly never boring being married to my husband,” says Pauline Samuda. “He has enjoyed a very colourful 35 years in politics!” Indeed, who doesn’t like a bit of suss?! But how does a politician, specifically a prime minister, move on from such scandals like the ‘Dudus’ Coke calamity? He resigns (albeit, some might suggest, a tad late), of course.

Jasper Burnett, who married former president of the Senate, Syringa Marshall-Burnett, long before she actually became a senator, says, “Spouses of politicians must do everything possible to help erase the negative opinions that tend to surround politicians.” Can the former PM’s wife manage this feat?

It seems a little naive of Burnett, but his wife, who has nobly devoted her life to nursing and politics, has never put herself in such a senseless situation, so he doesn’t exactly have to work hard at expunging unfavourable convictions! In fact, Jasper Burnett has been able to get on with his own career, as a chartered accountant, without it being adversely affected by his wife’s status. Is this because he is the husband, and not the wife, of a politician? No, he does not think that what is required of him is any different from what is expected of any other political spouse.

The Burnetts’ happy life together has not been without sacrifice, though. It takes enormous adjustments, extensive support, and a deep understanding of what the job of a politician entails.

Ann Marie Vaz goes one step further to say that the characteristics of a woman in her role are not necessarily unique to political wives, but to wives in general. She’s not wrong about that! All wives do need to have a strong sense of self and a generous spirit, and they should make family a priority.

That said, the public role of a political wife is a powerful one. She is often the bridge between the people and her politician husband, listening to their grievances as well as their blessings. This is the part many political wives love to play. “Nothing compares to having a positive impact on someone’s life,” Ann Marie Vaz gushes passionately. The adage: ‘It’s not what happens to you in life, but how you deal with it, that matters’ comes to mind. No one can deny that there is a loss of anonymity but “with this comes incredible opportunities for voluntarism and service to my beloved country,” continues Vaz.

Time management, patience, selflessness, being a good listener, maintaining your focus, and keeping yourself grounded are also among the plethora of qualities that true political wives (and husbands) ought to possess. Joline Whiteman, who met her husband after a failed engagement to a man back in England, while teaching at the same school where he was principal, says the key is to be willing to “put personal development aside to support your husband, family and country. It is a major sacrifice, and something that should be taken on only after careful evaluation.” Yes, ma’am! Noted!

With all that comes commitment to the people in your spouse’s constituency, and while someone like Dr Rose Davies has her own slate of responsibilities in her job (in education), “it is also important to devote some time to your spouse’s political activities,” she says.

Pauline Samuda finds that now her three sons are grown, with families of their own, “it’s even easier for me to assist my husband in his constituency (North Central St Andrew).” In addition, she and many of the wives extend themselves to those in need, helping whomever they can, with the limited resources available to them. Lilieth Mullings took in three underprivileged children, and raised them as her own!

Of course, a political spouse can only do so much, like any of us, but we do somehow expect more from them. Is that fair? Neadene Tufton puts it in brilliant perspective: “I understand that I am in the public domain, and that at all times I must behave in a responsible manner.”

With political fame comes the loss of freedom to do whatever you like. You chose the job, well, your spouse did, so you have to simply soak it up, I’m afraid! Sounds rather harsh, but no matter what appointments and duties you take on in life, there are going to be trials and troubles. We all just have to be the best person we can be, and as Ann Marie Vaz says, “Bloom wherever I am planted.” And also lead from the back too, perhaps!