I can get no remedy

Against this consumption

Of the purse

The disease is incurable.

— Shakespeare, 2 Henry IV,1,2

WHAT a disease to have, a consumption of the purse, of which it is incurable. And yet, so many people are afflicted with it, and alas, they can find no cure.

But wait, there is a cure if you’re a woman who knows how to work financial magic. Oh yes, the ladies may not like to hear this one, but many women purport to love a man, when in reality it’s his money that they love.

That was the topic of discussion between an old friend of mine and me recently. He lived overseas for quite some time and was visiting Jamaica for the first time in many years. He could not understand how so many older men were involved with young women… much younger women, less than half their age. Where he came from in North America, the reverse happened — older women had their toy boys — but he was alarmed at the number of men, some of his friends even, who had young girls in tow.

He asked me, “Do these girls love these men?” But I was the wrong person to ask, as you all know my views on that subject. No young girl is going to go out with any poor old man, and that’s a fact. The deciding factor, the equalising factor, the financial factor, is his money. Take that away and she goes away too. So in effect, no money no love.

That, we’ll explore right after some feedback to ‘Vice grip’.

Tony,

I’m very disappointed that you join the host of journalists who, without proper information, accuse the Church of a hypocritical position to gambling or ‘selective morality’ as you call it. The sort of thing you said has been repeated in the media so often, it’s come to be accepted as truth, even though it’s wrong.

Those churches that oppose gambling are generally consistent in opposing all forms of gambling, including bingo and lotto. I’m a member of The United Church which goes as far as to ban raffles and gate prizes.

Now, you need to be aware that a few churches are relatively neutral where gambling is concerned, therefore it is quite possible that they may hold a bingo. If that happens you should not tar and feather all churches as selective moralists.

SW

Hey Teerob,

I say long live vices, brother. If it wasn’t for vices most of us would not have any fun at all. How boring life must be for people who do not enjoy life’s indulgencies, and even overindulge from time to time. I make no apology: I love my liquor, I smoke, and my Saturdays are spent at the track.

I enjoy all that I do, and when it ends, I can look back and say, “I have lived and I have enjoyed.” Yes, I am caught in the grips of many vices, but so what? As you pointed out, ‘overindulgence is its own reward, and virtue its own punishment.’

Owen

I was at a wedding the other day when the pastor gave this joke about four sisters who married men from different professions. One married a banker, the other a theatre manager, the third a fashion designer and the fourth a funeral director. The rationale was, one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go.

Those four women all married for practical reasons. But where did love come into the picture? None of those women married for love. Well, with women, love hasn’t got to be in the equation, for unlike men, women are very practical when it comes to being with men. Just listen to the lyrics of songs that reflect this: “No money no love”; “You can’t make love pon hungry belly”; “Ain’t nothing going on but the rent”; “What have you done for me lately”; “She works hard for the money.” That last one was by the late disco diva Donna Summer. As you can see, women know how to be financially secure, even in their choice of men.

When my friend, who I mentioned earlier, asked me to explain this phenomenon, I pointed out the slew of wealthy old men who have beautiful young women who were half their age, or even younger. I asked him, “Do you think that those women would be with those wrinkled old geezers if they weren’t stock full of cash?” Upon reflection he had to agree, as no pretty young woman gets involved with a poor old man.

I’m not saying that it’s right or wrong, but it just happens…and frequently, too. If the man knows the deal, and is okay with the fact that the girl is using him, then it’s okay. But when it hits the fan is when the old clown thinks that the young girl really loves him for himself, and not for his money.

Let the 75-year-old man lose his assets and see how quickly her ass is out the door. It’s a sad fact of life. Did I say sad? No, it’s actually comical, for he’s a fool to think that she really loves him for himself.

I marvel all the time when I see those enormously wealthy movie stars, or money moguls in the USA, as they squire those young hot women to all the trendy spots and red carpet events. Do they really think that those young girls love them, or only love what they have to offer? What’s even more laughable is when the guys speak on camera and express undying love for these girls, saying, “At last I’ve found my soulmate, she’s the one I’ve been searching for all my life.”

Do the math, jerk, 65 does not go into into 25. When a young, hot 23-year-old marries an 85-year-old billionaire, is that true love, or true love of money? Oh, they say that the love of money is the root of all evil, but many of these women say that the lack of money is the root of all evil.

There is a new generation of hot young girls who have decided that being poor really sucks, and as long as there are suckers out there willing to part with their cash, they will love them. “Of course I can love an older man…what’s not to love…as long as he can support me I will love him.”

No wonder many young men are having a difficult time hooking up with young women. They have no strength of cash. So many of them borrow their parents’ car, usually an SUV, and try to impress the ladies, for they know that’s the attraction. “Sharlene have pretty car eye,” goes the song.

But where did this trend start, when did young women decide to make a career out of duping old or middle-aged wealthy men and making them believe that they love them, when all they love is their money? Hello, read history, it’s as old as time. But the only difference is, Jamaican girls have wised-up, and realised that there is a fertile field of financial fodder out there, waiting to be harvested. And they justify it, too. “Listen, most times it’s the man who approaches me and offers to offset my financial needs. I’m not going to refuse it.”

The fact is, many men believe that by paying the woman’s rent, buying her groceries, and giving her a credit card, that will guarantee her love. The current trend is to pay the school fees of these young women. You would not believe the number of girls in UWI, UTech, Northern Caribbean University, and other tertiary institutions who are being financed by older men. These men see it as an ‘investment’ but sometimes, sadly, the investment does not pan out, as after graduation, the young girl decides that the romance has ended and she doesn’t ‘love’ him anymore.

At times it ends in tragedy, for a fool, when parted from his money, does not like the feeling of separation.

Happily though, in some cases the young woman will be eternally grateful for the financial assistance and remain with the man for as long as she can. We often hear them say, “I can grow to love him”; “Oh, love isn’t all”; “He’s been so good to me so I’ll stick with him.”

The only drawback is that when you see them, you often do a double take and wonder, “What the heck does she see in him?” The answer, my friends, is deeper than you and I can fathom, it’s as deep as his financial pool. So don’t knock it, she’s in love…but remember, no money no love. Money may not be able to buy love, but it can sure lease it and give the illusion of love.

The women see nothing wrong with it, and insist that they did not force these men into any non-regulated, fickle financial farce. There is cash for gold and there is cash for love. Let’s face it, a dog is a man’s best friend, but diamonds are a girl’s best friend…so who is more practical?

“But do you really love him?” I often ask these ladies. “Teerob, when I saw the car that he drove, then where he lived, and thought about my UWI fees staring me in the face, I fell in love with him immediately.” But are these women wrong to embark on such a journey? After all, these men are being duped. Not so, say the ladies, as they point out that many of these men are married, have children, but are willing to spend on the side for romance. So it seems to be a fair trade-off: money for love.

It sure sounds crude and cold, but I guess everyone wins, unless the man falls in love and believes that she also loves him, and heaven forbid that his money run out…for so will she. “Honey, you are a bit up in age and your money has gone…we can’t make love on hungry belly…see ya.”

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: I’ve been listening to the discussion about corporal punishment in schools, the pros and the cons. The Bible does say ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’ and the truth is we have a generation of spoilt-rotten children who are also worthless and dangerous, too. Some of these so-called children will kill you without a second thought, and stories of them slapping, kicking, stoning, stabbing and assaulting teachers, guidance counsellors, and even stoning police officers are rife. They were not born that way, but something went wrong. Poor parenting, accountability for nothing, lax attitude, no discipline, suffering no consequences for their actions, all goes into the making of a juvenile delinquent.

I’m not for abuse of children, but there has to be consequences. I see nothing wrong with controlled flogging done by a dean of discipline, but then again, some parents might march down to the school and beat that dean who dared to discipline their unruly brat. So you see our dilemma?

Children can get away with anything nowadays, while adults talk and talk and talk. I repeat, many of those so-called children will maim or kill you and very little is being done to discipline them. So keep on talking, but pray that you or your child do not fall victim to them.