There is an old Jamaican saying… Thief from thief, God laughs.

This may be true when the crime is committed against someone who received goods illegally, I know I have personally wished that thieves would break into a thief’s house and rob him or her blind, just so they know how it feels. What’sThat would be the sweetest justice ever.

There is no love lost between thieves and me, even though I have been guilty of this crime too. I’ve idled at work and still collected my pay like a boss; I may have gotten incorrect change a couple of times from goods purchased and acted like I didn’t notice and I’m guilty of a few stolen kisses in the dark. I also empathise with anyone who steals food because they are hungry, lord knows I know what hungry feels like and it isn’t pretty. Doesn’t make it any less of a crime, but I can understand.

Stealing has been on the increase lately, because crime in general tends to rise when a nation has a high unemployment rate. A lot of people feel that their only recourse is to take from the ‘haves’. I just wish they would look a little closer at who they perceive as being a ‘have’ before they do, because nine times out of 10, the ‘have’ who is being violated is in the same boat, bailing water right beside them.

Since the advent of the scrap metal trade in Jamaica, we have seen some weird items being stolen. Entire sections of bridges have gone missing, manhole covers, and even a dialysis machine at the University Hospital of the West Indies was almost a statistic.

This got me to thinking, what other weird stuff do people steal?

So I did an informal survey and was surprised at the responses. People submitted their own personal experiences as well as stuff they heard of. Stealing is no laughing matter, but a few of these reviews had me chuckling:

Randy – Love on the side

Sushanna – Mi flashlight Nokia

Tennant – One time a girl shoplifted a Black Suede roll-on from Woolworth downtown. I couldn’t even lock her up because I was so ashamed. I paid for it for her and gave her a thorough warning

Thorne – a Crucifix from the church wall

Nicole – Someone I know stole a comforter from a four-star hotel

Drew – Observer newspapers. Well I don’t think, in my humble opinion, that they stole so many copies of the same paper to read

Shelly Weeks — Someone stole an empty dildo container from me at an expo

Della — Bbm profile picture

Kurt — A carton of condoms and a dirty floor mat

Kadine — Di man weh did tief di Cable & Wireless phone book dem and did ah try sell dem

Patria — At a call center one time, smaddy was tiefin meat out people soup dem put down for lunch.

Courtney — Got caught with a school bag full of candy. Every morning I would hit the supermarket and I mean that literally for all kinds of candy which I took to school and sold till one morning got caught. Guy said he watched me every morning. Funny part was the bag was so full didn’t need to keep going back. Just did.

Annetta – An entire beach. Remember? It made the Guinness Book of World Records. They were shocked that an entire beach could be stolen.

Claudette — A construction traffic cone and the letters M and T from the Welcome to Montego Bay sign

Mike — The left door of a Honda Civic, jus di so-so door

Craig — At a popular Kingston hotel apparently cutting the carpet under the bed and taking it is a common occurrence

Omar — Guys backed up a “moving truck” while the lady was out, and made it look like she was moving. Broke in and took EVERYTHING. The only way the lady found out, was her neighbor called her cell and said, “But Lisa! How u couldn’t tell me you were moving?”

Have a great weekend guys and be on the lookout for thieves. Lord knows they are looking out for you. Email elvachatalot@yahoo.com , join the FB fan page or follow on Twitter @ElvaJamaica.