Make use of time; let not advantage slip,

Beauty within itself should not be wasted.

Fair flowers that are not gathered in their prime

Rot and consume themselves in little time.

— Shakespeare, Venus and Adonis, Stanza 22

Yes indeed, pick them while they’re still young and pretty, or they will stay and rot in no time at all. That is the thinking of many people who believe in striking while the iron is hot, making hay while the sun shines, and seizing the moment. It’s all about timing.

They say that it’s not what you do but when you do it that’s important. So it’s no point in you doing something if the time isn’t right, as your efforts will be wasted. How often we’ve heard the phrase, “It was an idea before its time,” or, “He was ahead of his time.” Just imagine a bright mind like Bill Gates being born in the 15th century and talking about computers and chips. He would have been stoned and burned at the stake as a heretic.

Galileo and Leonardo DaVinci and others of their ilk also suffered through this too, as many of their ideas were way ahead of their time. It can be a curse to do things at the wrong time.

So how does sex come into all this, and why is timing so important? Read the last sentence in that first paragraph again. See the word ‘curse?’ Sexual timing, that’s our foreplay and consummation today, right after these responses to ‘A really good woman’.

Hey Tony,

In response to your article, here are a few famous quotes.

“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think that she’s having her own way, and second, let her have it.”

Lyndon B. Johnson

“If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you’ll never end up with a nag.”

Zig Ziglar

“Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage, the wife is in charge.”

Bill Cosby

“A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day like a sister does, and pleases him like a prostitute in the night.”

Chanakya

More time,

Wykham

Ontario, Canada

Teerob,

What you say is true, a really good woman is a blessing to a man, but on the flipside, a really bad woman is hell on earth. I say cheers to the good women, and may they find good men.

Horace

This lady was furious and wanted to sue a hospital for ruining her sex life. “Since my husband saw your doctors he’s stopped having sex with me,” she fumed. “But madam, he saw an eye doctor, and his vision has improved, that’s all,” was the reply.

Very few topics have been explored, researched, written about, illustrated, spoken about, debated and discussed like sex. Everyone thinks that their view is the correct one, and no one dares tell them different. I must confess that even I have broached the subject on many occasions, and my research has taken me to places that are most pleasurable.

But the more I read, is the more I learn, and the more surprises I get. People’s views and opinions about sex are as diverse as the wind, and the irony is, many of them are armchair coaches. To wit, they never played the game, yet they are such profound experts.

Two articles in the papers piqued my interest recently. The first one was really an eye-opener, for the writer, a woman, was actually promoting ménage a trois, which is sex involving three people. I do remember writing a column titled ‘Menage a wha?’ a few years ago, which poked fun at the whole experience and how funny things could get if things went wrong. But this lady writer was actually promoting the indulgence of the threesome.

I know that times have changed and we have become more liberal in our thoughts and deeds, but to actually encourage people to engage in threesomes in a local paper sort of took me by surprise. I know that the foreign publications like Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler and such, have been doing this for years, but to see it in Jamaica really raised my eyebrows. Is it an idea whose time has come… is this sexual timing unfolding right before our very eyes?

Maybe 10 years ago such an article would never be published. It gave tips regarding threesomes, who to do it with, how to do it, when to do it, and the pleasures that it offered. Granted, it did point out some of the health dangers, but my, my, the manual was explicit and there for all to digest. So all who were perhaps afraid to try, or are eager to experiment, the timing is now, go forth and pick the fruit before it rots on the tree.

I’m pretty sure that in a short time we’ll also see articles written advising people about the joys and benefits of gay sex, both for men and women. It’s all about timing, sexual timing, and as time passes, anything will pass regarding sex.

But as in all things, there are opposite poles, and even as some writers promote sexual fantasies and dreams, others insist that sex be swept under the carpet. If not swept under, some people hide their heads in the sand and act as if young kids do not indulge in sex or should not have sexual urges.

I’m referring to the debate regarding the distribution of condoms in schools. The argument rages, should condoms be distributed in schools or not? The prudes and puritans say no, as this will only encourage promiscuity, wanton and frequent sexual acts. The realists say yes, for the harsh, stark reality is, young people are having sex, plan to have sex, have had sex, whether condoms are distributed or not.

One recent report showed that one Corporate Area high school has some 60 per cent of its students in one grade being parents. I’m sure that those figures apply to many other schools. The ages of some mothers at Jubilee Hospital span from 12 years old and up.

It’s a fact that teenage pregnancy is rife in our society. Young boys are having sex with young girls, older men are having sex with young girls, young boys are having sex with older women, men pursue girls and girls pursue men.

The permutations are mind-boggling and the bottom line is, a lot of sex is going on, and many parents aren’t even aware what their young ones are doing. “On no, my Sherona doesn’t do that sort of thing. She’s too young for that.”

We can talk all we want about morality, abstinence, chastity, moral fortitude, family life and all that, all things that are positive. But the fact is, while the grass is growing the cow is starving. What do we do while we bolster the moral fortitude of our society? Talk alone cannot compete with rampant sexual impulses.

When the body and mind say it’s sexual time, the young folks are going to answer the clarion call. Even in the best of homes with great family values and moral persuasion, teenagers have their own agenda. We all know the saying about parson pickney and police pickney being always bad.

“Me say, parson young dawta bruk out and a show belly…not even him preaching cudda manage har.”

Children have sex for different reasons, curiosity, peer pressure, adult pressure, boredom, overactive hormones, a need to be loved. The end result can be devastating as the sexual timing is so wrong, for an unwanted pregnancy at age 13 is ill-timed, or STDs at age 15 can be a death sentence. A condom could have prevented both. Educate the children, counsel them, talk to them, but also give them protection as they go into the battle of life. Yes, life is a battle.

So if they’re going to do it, at least give them the means to protect themselves. It’s no point telling them not to play in the rain. Give them a raincoat too. Even experienced sailors wear life vests when they go to sea.

No one is encouraging children to have sex, no one has to. But since they’re going to skydive, give them a parachute. Sexual timing is important, but if the time is not right, at least make them use protection right.

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: Mr Robotham is a beggar who used to ply his trade in Cross Roads. I always gave him money and had a little chit chat with him before the traffic lights changed to green. Boys would beat him up and even broke his arm once, but he was always cheerful.

He recently broke his leg and has relocated to the Liguanae area where I have easier access to parking and therefore longer chats with him. I learnt that Mr Robotham is a former Spanish teacher. When I tested him, his Spanish is fluent and far better than mine. What could have happened to let a man fall from being in the classroom to walking the streets begging for change?

It saddens me to see this man, with intelligent, bespectacled eyes, pushing his walker and begging on the streets. But it also makes me think about the uncertainty of life.