Tis not the many oaths

That make the truth,

But the plain single vow

That is vow’d true.

Shakespeare, All’s Well That Ends Well, IV, 2

IT’S just the one single vow that’s important, and not the whole heap of vows that people always swear to each other. And what’s a vow but a contract, and whether it be written and signed on a paper, or even spoken by word with a handshake, it is still a contract. Your word is your bond in many societies. At least it should be. Contracts come in various forms, sizes and types. Some are permanent, while others are temporary, as in a lease. Many persons will lease somewhere to live, and this protects both the landlord and the tenant as the former can’t just throw out the latter, and he in turn cannot just up and walk out. At least that’s the theory of the lease. In the USA and other countries, cars and other vehicles are also leased. So the driver doesn’t actually own the vehicle, but leases it for a period of time, sometimes for years. This has its advantages as well as disadvantages, but I do not see that system working in Jamaica.

A marriage is also a contract, for both parties repeat vows at the altar. Some of these are the traditional love, honour and obey, while others are made up to suit the participants. This vow is a verbal contract, sealed not with a handshake, but with a kiss… and consummated later during the honeymoon.

But like in all contracts, there just may be fine print, as the devil is in the details they say. But even if there is none, some people will find some way to breach this contract. That is bound to cause problems, for if it’s a landlord/tenant agreement, a business contract, a marriage vow, then a breach of contract is a serious thing. We’ll examine this right after these responses to Unequally Yoked.

Hi Tony,

Being unequally yoked does cause problems in relationships, and many people are not even aware that’s where the root of their problems actually originates. They foolishly think that even though their differences are so great, love will conquer all. Well, love is a wonderful thing, but it cannot overcome the huge problems of being unequal. If one is educated and the other is not, then there will be problems. If one is God-fearing and church-going and the other is a heathen, then that difference will be like a brick wall between them. The Bible addresses this specifically, as you pointed out.

Sandra

Daddy Oh,

Puss and dog cannot live together, even though there are a few exceptions to the rule. In the general sense though, being unequally yoked is like putting puss and dog together and hoping for the best. It’s better to seek a partner who exists at least in your dimension and not try to cross the great divide. A ghetto youth and a rich uptown girl will not see eye to eye on many issues and that relationship is doomed to flounder. A spendthrift and a miser will have problems and many marriages fail because of this financial inequality. Being unequally yoked comes in so many forms, but people choose to ignore them.

Gloria

I was talking with my daughter a few weeks ago and I mentioned that a friend of hers had got big and fat after a few years of marriage. She immediately said, “That’s so sad, and it’s really a breach of contract when people do that.” I had to give that some thought, for what she said was so true. When couples take vows at the altar to love, honour and obey, they should also add other stipulations to that contractual agreement. And even if they aren’t written down and recited, then they should be understood as a part of the marriage contract. When a man and a woman decide to marry, they made that decision based on certain unwritten contractual agreements. He chose a woman who was educated, loving, maternal, slim and trim. She, on the other hand, chose a man who was athletic, hardworking, dependable, generous, honest and ambitious. Those things were never spoken, but still constituted the terms of the contract before they sealed the deal. If either party reneges on any part therein, then the contract is breached.

Clearly, the wedding vows could not have in all of those stipulations, but any lawyer worth his or her salt would tell you that a breach would be committed if anything changes. My daughter was spot on when she said that a woman who got inordinately obese after a few years of marriage was in breach of contract. Imagine buying a car that has certain specs that promises much, only to discover that after a few months it does not deliver what the manufactures said it would. “You promised 40 miles per gallon but it only gives 15 MPG. That’s a clear breach of contract.” Naturally they will try to weasel their way out of it by saying, “Conditions apply. Your tyres were underinflated, you didn’t drive at the right speed… slow, you didn’t drive downhill…”

The same goes for the marriage contract. “I married a slim, shapely, curvy, sexy woman… not a mampy. That’s a breach of contract.” Now please do not get me wrong, for there are men who love mampies… er… fluffy… er.. fat… er… full-figured women. They really turn them on. But that is not the issue here. If the man married a full figured woman and after a year she shed the weight and turned into a skinny Minnie, it would be the same breach of contract. “Listen, if I wanted a mawga woman I woulda married a mawga woman. I want my fat wife back.” The contract was breached.

A woman will choose a man to be her lifelong partner, and we all know how women are, they take this marriage thing very seriously and are usually more careful about picking a partner than most men are. So when she invests her emotions and time in a man who showed promise, and then after a year of marriage the man does a complete turnaround, then that’s a breach of contract. Suddenly the man quits his job, turns worthless and stops paying the bills. Now that’s a serious breach of contract and will certainly impact negatively on any marriage.

Now of course people must be allowed to bend and flex, as we are not moulded in concrete and should be able to evolve. But a complete about-face and change in physical characteristic or personality is a serious breach of contract. Most men will expect a moderate weight gain in their wives, especially after childbirth, but to double or triple her weight is a huge breach of contract. How will he now be sexually turned on by a woman who does not physically excite him? The same applies to men who used to be athletic but after a short time put on a paunch worthy of any Sumo wrestler. “It’s such a turnoff….he can’t even see his dingaling let alone use it.” Women also expect that men’s fortunes may change, for life can be fickle, but to just resign from a job, stop working, then start to live off her is a breach of contract also.

Expectations are high when people decide to make a life together, and when these are not met, the disappointment is bitter.

If a man meets a woman and decides to marry her because of her physical assets plus her promise to please him sexually all the time, but then shuts the door soon after marriage, then that’s a breach of contract. “But wait, this car won’t start….give me back me money.” You may raise your eyebrows, but there are men, shallow souls you may say, who will marry a woman because he expects a wild vixen in bed every night. She will play the part during the courtship, and on the honeymoon night the contortions will be straight out of the Kama Sutra. But after a few months, she draws the brakes and becomes as sexy as a breadfruit. He could take her to court for breach of contract. “Your honour, she promised me sex beyond my wildest dreams, but now all I have are wild dreams about sex.” If you doubt me, just check out those stories of those movie stars who marry for looks and sex and keep on marrying and divorcing at will. Some even have written marriage contracts that are ironclad to protect their assets.

People will change and people should be allowed flexibility, but when either partner does a complete shape shift, a U-turn, a chameleon-like change, then that’s a breach of contract. More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: Frustration with financial institutions seems to be on the rise, based on the numerous complaints that are circulating. This poor old lady, who was in the line at the bank, lamented about the numerous bank charges such as fees for withdrawals, fees for checking balances, fees to make deposits and a host of other service charges. She also said that the bank told her that she had to have a minimum of $100,000 in her chequing account or face penalties. She’s planning to keep her money at home.

Insurance companies also do not escape the ire of consumers. People will have their vehicles valued at a lower value than the previous year, thinking that the premium would be less. Instead they end up paying a higher premium because the vehicle now falls into a lower price range. You just can’t win.