Dear Editor,

Usually when you meet people from overseas the first thing they immediately tell you is that they know about Bob Marley. They believe that when they tell you that, you will think that they can relate to you and so it will make you more comfortable to carry on a conversation with them.

They will also tell you, with pride, that they used to smoke pot in college, and then they will ask if you have ever smoked it. Believe it or not, in 2013 people still believe that all we do in Jamaica, aside from scamming old people, is smoke weed, lie on the beach all day, and listen to Bob Marley. This is changing slightly, though, since Tessanne entered The Voice competition and made a conscious effort not to speak with an American accent — like many who spend one minute in America.

Tessanne decided to go authentic, and they cannot get enough of her. I strongly believe she is the new Bob Marley. Tessanne is smart, she knows that she could very well be passed for one of those American singers, but she wants to make the distinction clear, and so the only way to do that is to be herself. Now everyone wants to know if I know her… I am trying to answer honestly.

I was on a train the other day and I was very bored and tired. I wanted something to amuse me, and so I started listening to everyone’s conversation. The problem with that, though, was that nobody was speaking English. So I am sitting there and my phone rang and I decided to speak ‘straight’ patois. I went down in some patois from Montego Bay, and wrap if up with some from Clarendon, then seal it with a bad piece from Trelawny. Believe me when I tell you that even my sister on the other end of the conversation could not understand some of the patois. I pulled from Bounty dictionary and neat and fine it up with a little of Beenie Man bad grammar. I was proud of myself. I felt like an authentic Jamaican, which, away from home, is very empowering.

So after that experience on the train, I was telling someone that I was going home to cook some chicken foot soup. She said, ‘no, you mean chicken feet’. So I told her don’t pluralise it, ‘ah chicken foot it name’. She went on to ask me about what we eat in Jamaica. Of course I left out the typical answer which is ackee and salt fish. I went straight Trelawny on her. I told her about the nice cow tongue, tripe and bean, chicken liver, cho-cho and salt fish, run down with tu’n cornmeal, fry chicken back, red herring, roast yam and corn, blue draws, stinking toe, and plenty other food that even some very Jamaicans don’t know. She was shocked out of her clothes. I told her that those foods are a delicacy in Jamaica and only rich people eat it. Yes, I know that is not true, but we need to market the country differently. We need to use what is unique to us and sell the country. Everybody in the world eats chicken meat, but how many eat the foot, or feet?

Now she wants to come to Jamaica for the food… and the men. I am just doing my civic duty, don’t judge me.

I cannot sing like Tessanne, cannot run like Shelly-Ann, but if I can promote the country in any little way, I am all for it, because you do not know how valuable your country is until you visit another and realise that not all chickens are made equal.

Shornee Carnegie

shornee1610@hotmail.com