In the fatness of these pursy times,

Virtue itself of vice

Must pardon beg.

— Shakespeare, Hamlet, III, 4

Virtue must beg vice pardon in the fatness of these pursy times. And indeed the purses are fat when it comes to certain vices that seem to pay so well.

One vice that lures the fatness of the purse is prostitution, and yes, I have touched on the subject before, but I assure you, this time it’s a different kettle of fish, as it’s a topic that just keeps on giving. Not being judgemental, I’m not calling the kettle any colour, neither is fish referring to the Jamaican version, but rather a different perspective on the age-old profession of prostitution.

In the Bible, whores were referred to as harlots, and I must agree that it’s a rather genteel way of referring to prostitutes. Somehow it just doesn’t sound so bad.

“What are you, a whore?”

“Oh no, I’m just a happy harlot.”

See, it sort of takes the edge off the sordid, sleazy, sex-driven world of the prostitute, and almost gives it an air of acceptance if not respectability.

Everything has a class structure, and prostitution is no different. There are ho’s and there are ho’s. You can buy some for J$500 I’ve been told, or even $200, in these desperate times, and you can lease love for as much as J$30,000 to $40,000 for a session. I did my research.

But there are still others who are far more expensive, yet they have the knack of subtlety, and of not even being called prostitutes. They are the high-class harlots, and we’ll see what delights they have to offer right after these responses to ‘Women’s revenge’.

Hi Tony,

I don’t understand why women get so angry when their men simply look at another woman. If I am out in public with my wife and a stunningly beautiful woman with all the right assets goes by, I would not be a real man if I didn’t discreetly glance at her and admire the art that she truly is. And if I happen to miss the picturesque event, my wife will nudge me and discreetly point me in the right direction.

I can certainly understand a woman getting upset if her man leers indiscreetly at another woman and behaves boorishly in her presence. This type of behaviour is disrespectful to any woman as well as the woman being leered at. Then, retaliation and retribution would be in order.

Richard

Teerob,

Revenge is a woman’s best weapon. After all, it’s all that we have to hit ’em where it hurts. When my husband had the disgusting gall to sleep with my friend, what better way to get back at him than to sleep with…. now get this… not his friend, but his subordinate in his office, the man who works for him. No feeling was sweeter. I did it only once, but that was enough. It’s my secret, plus the man who he thinks is his junior is laughing inside too. Revenge can be sweet.

Janet

There are a few jokes making the Internet rounds that spurred me to research this whole high-class harlot world, a world that may seem alien and unreal to some people, while others are right at home with it. True, some ladies may be offended, but the jokes do smack of some truth, so lighten up, plus the truth will set you free, they say.

The first is about a man who met this lady on a plane and asked her name. “Mercedes Brown,” she said. “Is that like the car?” the man asked. To which she replied, “Oh yes, but far more expensive.”

This other older man went to a gym and after viewing all the fancy equipment, asked the trainer, “What machine should I use to impress those young ladies over there?”

“I suggest the ATM machine at the front, Sir,” was the reply.

Now, there’s more than a grain of truth in those stories which are fuelled by the behaviour of certain women who see men as cash targets. But here’s a true story that I’ll share with you. I met an old schoolmate a few weeks ago and asked him how was his young lady love. He told me that he’d ditched her as she was too needy and greedy.

But what he told me after, made even my hardened, seen-it-all, heard-it-all, know-it-all, jaw drop. “Teerob, I only buy sex now, as it’s cheaper. Those dinners, nights out and her neediness were breaking me.”

But what he said after that almost made my jaw lay flat on the floor. “Some of those girls on Back Road really look good, you know.” Now, this was a decent, educated, upper middle class guy from a good family who has descended to the nadir of illicit sexuality by buying whores on Back Road.

When I told my wife the story she asked if I admonished him for his newfound ways of seeking love. I sheepishly said no. So she admonished me. I must confess that not only did I not lecture him on the dangers of his actions, neither did I cast the first stone, instead I suggested to him, “Back Road girls…. but couldn’t you find some nice, decent high-class prostitutes?”

Maybe that made me as bad as him, but perhaps in the heat of the conversation I somehow was trying to not be judgemental and to do the whole man and man talking, male bonding slap on the back thing.

The fact is though, high-class harlots do exist, and are a dime a dozen. Make that more than a dime, for they don’t come cheap. There is a hierarchy among harlots, and the higher the class, the higher the income.

The research has shown that even those so-called massage parlour girls who offer a happy ending to their sessions do not consider themselves as prostitutes. In fact, they look down on the streetwalkers and even admonish them. The same goes for the top notch escorts too, who drive fancy cars and live in swanky apartments. The buck does not stop there, though.

The real high-class harlots are the ones who have only one client at a time, and he may be there for months or even years. Her trick is, he doesn’t even realise that he’s a client, but sees himself as her boyfriend. These are the women who only seek out men who they can get something from.

Now, when I look at how some women work hard, struggle to make ends meet, achieve academic heights and have ambition, I have to respect them to the max. These women asked nothing of any man, and achieved their goals by dint of hard work and ambition. I applaud those women.

And then I see, hear, and read about that other type, who are nothing but leeches who attach themselves to men and whose only purpose is to get as much as they can from them. They have no jobs, or as more is the case, have ordinary jobs as a façade, yet drive the fanciest cars and live in the lap of luxury, way beyond their means, having all their bills paid by men. Some have one man doing the financing, while others service multiple men. They may sugarcoat their way of life, but in essence, they are high-class harlots.

The irony is, they see nothing wrong with it, and if you ask them about it some will berate you as they justify their actions, saying that they don’t force the men to finance them. A few will admit to their motives. The only constant though, is that they only go with men who will provide financing for them. “He has to let off….or I don’t let off.”

I did my research, and you may not like my findings, but high-class harlots exist in all walks of life, from tertiary students to women in commerce and industry. I dare not call or suggest what industry, profession or institutions, as I would be deluged by torrents of denial, condemnation and cussing by women who would swear blind that no such thing exists.

Many school fees as paid this way, and many car loans financed. Many mortgages are paid off. I’m not judging, and not casting any stones, but merely shedding some light on a dark….high-class subject.

More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: I have always loved economics, and in fact I passed that subject at GCE ‘A’ level. Not many students passed that year, as it was challenging, and even though I didn’t go further with Econ, I still love the subject and show great interest in it. Now, I always try to look at the bright side of things, but even my ‘A’ level brain can tell you that devaluation does not help a country that imports more than it exports.

Yet, over the years, successive governments of various countries fall prey to devaluation. Maybe it’s the mandate of the international higher powers, but when a country devalues its currency, imports cost more… foreign goods become more expensive. If they don’t export enough to offset this, then that’s a big problem.

If we export more than we import, then devaluation will work, but as long as we import so much, we salt. Did you know that we import canned coconut water, bread, and bottled water? Where’s the irony in that? Land of wood and water, eh?