The full sum of me…

Is an unlesson’d girl, unschool’d, unpracticed;

Happy in this, she is not yet so old,

But she may learn.

Shakespeare,The Merchant of Venice III, 2

THAT unlessoned, unschooled, unpracticed girl had better learn the ways of men, or she’ll be left out in the cold. That last line is so critical: “but she may learn”. And yet, it’s often ignored by so many women. They purport to know a lot, and truth be told, they may know a thing or two. But when it comes to knowing what to do, how to act, what to say, and what not to say around men, many fall short.

Oh yes, many women haven’t got a clue about the very same men who they want to possess them. So when they do get them, they keep putting their feet in their mouths. It’s like having a great car and not knowing how to drive it. What’s even worse is, when they do get the man, they have no idea what his likes and dislikes are, what his pet peeves are, what she should not do and what she should do to keep him. As a result, many women keep making the same mistakes over and over again, and, in fact, blame the man when the relationship flounders, when in effect, if she only knew what she was doing wrong, everything would work out just fine.

Now there is no formula, no quick fix, no guarantees, but there are certain common-sense guidelines that women should know when dealing with a man.

What women should know about men, right after what these readers knew and wrote about Women’s Professional Bias.

Hi Teerob,

While doctors like to marry into the profession, I believe most men do not have a professional bias. They look for certain other qualities in their chosen women. Personally, I like women who are open-minded, gifted with common sense and intelligence, have a great sense of humour, and good looks with a shapely body don’t hurt either. Regarding your footnote, a person leaving things of value in their car in full view is an open invitation to be robbed. They must have the IQ of a car seat. At least take the time and lock them in the trunk.

Trevor

Hey Teerob,

Of course women have a professional bias, we have to. If we didn’t we would diminish the gene pool and water down the species. Why should I spend time and hard-earned money to uplift myself, only to settle with someone who is beneath my station? Now you’re going to say that I’m class prejudiced, well, so is the Bible when it speaks of being unequally yoked. I have nothing against taximen, garbage men, security guards, or minibus drivers. But I want a man of my station. I don’t care how rich he may be, I also need intellectual stimulation, and sadly, the nice, loving, faithful bus conductor cannot give me that.

Coleen

Ignorance of the law is no excuse, they say. Not because you didn’t know the law and broke it in ignorance, means that you’re going to get a break. Whenever you travel to another country, make sure that you are aware of the laws of the land, or you could find yourself in front of a very stern judge who doesn’t even speak English.

The same applies to women who are ignorant of the ways of men and keep mashing the man’s corn, time and time again. Then they are surprised when he reacts badly or splits. “How come every man leave you so? You don’t know ’bout man ways?” True, all men are different, as are all cars, but just like cars there is a basic principle of operating them. There are certain rules that women should not break, and secretly, men really wished that more women knew what those rules were.

This was posited by a lady named Crystal Evans, who after listening to a few men, put it out on her blog for women to heed. She said that a few of her male friends confessed that they really wished women knew what men liked and disliked and would respect those wishes. I smiled when I read it, for it sounded so familiar, as my research reached the same conclusion many years ago. Still, this was from a female’s perspective, so I had to give it some props.

Women should know that men love their male friends and that it’s important to them that they spend time with them. Now, I have always heard about this male bonding issue, but I was never a part of it. Oh, we’d play sports and bond on the field, but after the showers, I was always off to my significant other of the time. Hanging around and drinking with other men on a regular basis wasn’t my cup of tea.

But if a man is into the male bonding thing, as many men are, then women should understand and respect this. After all, ‘dem boys at de club’ are very important to him, and they do not take away any of his feelings for the woman. So she should not feel threatened, and simply allow him that time with his night out with the boys.

Now this is huge, and I cannot believe that there are men who actually endorsed this – the fact that some men wished that their wives would understand and not be unduly bothered by the other women who the man sleeps with on the side. After all, she is the one who he goes home to every night, so she should be more than grateful.

Some men may think that, but I cannot believe that they would actually expect their women to accept it. “Oh honey, lighten up, she means nothing to me. After all, I come home every night to you.”

Men wish that women knew that they should not answer his phone or even worse, search his phone. I know women who make it their favourite pastime to do extensive forensic examination on their man’s phone whenever he’s in the bathroom or sleeping. Most men hate that, not because they’re hiding anything, but they see it as gross mistrust. Well, some are hiding some things, but most aren’t, and feel violated. It’s akin to a man searching his woman’s handbag every night while she’s sleeping.

Some men just want to have sex with no commitment then move on. Men really wish that women knew that about them. For some reason, most women assume that just because a man has sex with them, he wants to settle down and get married. Not so. Maybe she’s just not the marrying type, but she’s certainly a great bedroom roller-coaster ride. Men wish that more women knew that fact about them and got with the programme. “Baby, you’re fast-food meal deal, tasty and quick, but not sustaining. But I’ll come back for more.”

Following this, many women think that having a baby can hold a man. No wonder there are so many women with babies in their arms and no man on their hands. Men wish that more women knew that a baby can’t tie a man.

Right in the same ballpark is sex as an adhesive element. So many women think that sex will keep a man. If that was the case, men would marry prostitutes, as those ladies are versed in the erotic arts and know exactly how to rock a man’s world. Sex cannot hold a man, and men wished that more women knew this fact. Married men will have tons of sex with the mistress, but still go home to their wives with whom they rarely have sex.

Some women love to insult and embarrass their men in front of people. All men detest this, and really wish that women knew. Interestingly, many women aren’t aware of this and mouth-off and put down their man without even knowing what pain it’s causing him. I have seen it often, and I wonder when the man is going to snap.

I was happy to see that Crystal Evans shared her views from a female’s perspective. My extensive research corroborated her findings, although a few raised some eyebrows. Even so, women should take the time to know more about men. More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote

My wife jokingly told me, “It’s my way or the highway”, so we decided to test the new leg of the North Coast highway that everyone’s talking about. So off we went, and it was spectacular, a great piece of engineering, and wonderful to drive on. What was all the fuss about? We cruised at over 50mph on the uphill stretch, and even so, some vehicles whizzed by us on the ascent. It’s a wonderful road and our journey to Puerto Seco Beach was quicker and smoother because of it. The only drawback was the lack of visible signs. While chatting, laughing and admiring the scenery, we turned left at the end of the highway and ended up in the hills of St Ann, passing through places like Claremont and exiting at St Ann’s Bay. But we were in no hurry and enjoyed the beautiful countryside. On the way back, through Ocho Rios, we missed the entrance to the highway and came back via Mount Rosser. So, more signs needed, please. The highway is great, and I’ll never drive Mount Rosser again.