My thoughts are whirled

Like a potter’s wheel,

I know not where I am,

Nor what I do.

— Shakespeare, 1 Henry, VI, 1,5

Do you not know that I am a woman?

When I think, I must speak.

— Shakespeare, As you Like it, III, 2

THOSE two quotes really complement each other, and perhaps sum up what’s inside the head of women, who always enjoy compliments. What am I saying? If anyone could really figure out what’s inside a woman’s head, what complements or who compliments her, he would win the Nobel Prize. But I can still try.

Men are always saying that women are strange and do not act logically. Indeed the phrase always is, “Cho man, don’t worry, you know how woman stay already.” That in itself makes men understand the actions or at least justify them, put some logic to them and try to rationalise why they do, what they do and when they do it.

“Do you have to start dusting the furniture at midnight?”

“You have to see with her, she’s a woman.”

Even so, men try to get inside the heads of women to find out what really makes them tick. We’ll see how far we get right after these responses to ‘Never ssk a man’.

Hello Teerob,

It is so true, the genders are so different, and the sooner more women realise this, the more they will understand that men are men and are not their girlfriends. Man is man, as you stated, and women should not expect men to do womanly things. Why should I refuse to wash the dishes and iron her clothes? Because man is man. Why should I not sit and gossip and watch The Shopping Network? Because man is man. Woman is woman too, so please address that in the future.

John

Hi Tony,

When a woman asks you something, agree quickly and then forget about it. If she asks why you haven’t done what she asked, say you forgot and keep on forgetting. When she tells you that you must be losing your mind with all this forgetfulness, ask her what she means. When she tells you, agree, then forget about it. She will either give up with all this asking or she will go mad. Ask me again.

William

Rex Harrison’s character Professor Higgins in the movie My Fair Lady, asked the question with great lament, ‘Why can’t a woman be like a man?’ After all, men are logical, objective pragmatic beings, while women tend to be emotional, irrational and illogical. He was so perplexed at the behaviour of women and really wished that women were more like men, at least in certain areas.

Steve Harvey wrote a book aimed at women, Think like a man, Act like a lady, which was also made into a movie. But why didn’t anyone suggest the opposite, that men should be more like women and think and act as they do? Again, only in certain areas, and not get carried away.

American Bruce Jenner, former Olympic gold medallist in the decathlon, is going through some sort of radical transformation where he’s slowly morphing into a woman. It’s painful to watch this former jock turn into Jill. But that’s the path that he chose, as he struggles with his sexuality.

There are transgender males who wish to be women, and many from early childhood, dressed up in little girly clothes and then into women’s garments as they grew older, complete with lipstick, powder, mascara, eye liner and the works. Some grown men have been caught wearing their wives’ clothes. “But see my trial, Trevor, just go and take off my good church dress, you hear.”

By no means am I advocating going that route, but it would certainly help relationships if more men thought and acted like women in certain areas. “Hmm, now what would I do in this situation if I was a woman? Let me think.”

Women have a sixth sense, a knack of knowing who is genuine or not, while men are often just so trusting and gullible, especially when it comes to other women, especially pretty ones.

If you ask most men, they’ll tell you, “My wife is like a witch, she can figure out other women and know exactly what they’re up to.” Many other men will add, “I always listen to my wife, for she can always suss out people and situations.”

When it comes to sex, men should think like women and they’d perhaps get more. Many women use sex as their trump card, their weapon, their tool, so men should think the same. Men should not always have sex on their mind, but think like a woman and act as if it’s no big thing, the furthest thing from their mind. Treat it as if it’s not really a big deal and doesn’t control your life.

If a man takes out a woman for the first time, he should think like a woman and not like a man. A typical man, as he’s getting dressed to go out, only thinks about how quickly he can get the woman into bed, what strategy, what ruse to implement. The woman, as she dresses, thinks about what a good dinner or movie she’s going to experience and if the man is a decent person.

If the man brings up sex, that puts her on the defensive. The man should therefore put that on the back burner and think like how she thinks. He should focus on what a good time they’re going to have as the evening wears on and talk about everything else under the sun, except sex.

Discuss fashion with her, talk about culinary delights, recipes, children and decorating. Hey, don’t scoff, it’s guaranteed that she’ll be impressed, be in her comfort zone and fall into the man’s arms. “What a nice man, so in touch and in tune with his feminine side. He’s confidently masculine but thinks as a woman would.”

It’s so different when both genders arrive home after work. When the man walks through the door, all he wants to do is flop down on the couch, get the remote in his hand and watch some television. Not so with women. Sometimes he should think like a woman and do what she would do. As my good friend always says, “I get to score some brownie points with my wife and just think like she would and do what she would do.”

When a woman arrives home, sometimes before she even gets to the living room, she’ll stop along the way and get household things done. A man should sometimes think like that and not see the couch as his primary objective. It may be difficult, but women tend to like to see that side of a man, a man who will get a little busy before he hits the couch and the TV. Of course, that’s out of the question if sports is on.

Another thing is, women do not hold back their words, and as my late father always said, “A woman’s tongue is the only instrument that gets sharper with use.” I have so many friends whose wives’ mouths have no edit button, as they simply speak whatever comes to their mind. See the above quote about women, “When I think I must speak.”

That is not necessarily a bad thing, as letting it out is a great stress reliever. Men tend to hang on to this macho image of being the strong, silent type and hold back their words, which only builds up pressure and leads to their ultimate demise.

You all know what happens to a pressure cooker that has no release valve. Women just chat it out, belt it out, let it out. If men could let loose their emotions like that and express themselves more, they’d have better relationships.

Sometimes a man should even think like a woman, get in a mood, and fume and pout just like her. Give her the silent treatment too, see how she likes it. That will make her think twice about acting that way again. But I doubt it, for woman is woman and they do exactly as they please.

Now, it’s very clear that thinking like a woman does not mean acting like a woman and forfeiting your maleness. Instead, just try to put yourself in a woman’s head and anticipate what she would do sometimes and take preemptive action. More time.

seido1@hotmail.com

Footnote: The journey of some men takes them on a circuitous trip through life, very much like Homer’s The Odyssey, or Pilgrim’s Progress. One modern day pilgrim is none other than actor/playwright Hugh King, a former co-worker of mine at the JIS/API many years ago, who has been on a journey of epic proportions.

Hugh has risen to the pinnacle of affluence and sunk to the depths of poverty, but never lost his faith. He just returned from a 10-year sabbatical living in the hills of Bartons, St Catherine, subsisting off the land and living like a reclusive mountain man, giving up everything. While there he found his spiritual self and has quite an extraordinary story to tell, a part of which he shared on Ian Boyne’s TV show, Profile.

He lived in a tent out in the fields for 10 years, but now has returned to civilisation and has reprised his hit play of years ago, Nightwork. I will tell you more next week.