Y ou are constantly yelled at, being picked apart, demeaned in front of your peers and made to feel inadequate. The attention is unpleasant and unwarranted and you feel small, as though there is no one capable of or willing to assist you. The worst part is, this isn’t the playground and you are not a child.

Unfortunately, bullying is not something you graduate from when you leave school and enter the world of work. The workplace bully is far more commonplace than we would like to think and the intimidatory tactics are not always obvious to bystanders; but that doesn’t make them any less real.

Confronting or handling the workplace bully can be a sensitive issue which you may not want to handle on your own. To be clear, if you feel threatened in any way, do not attempt to handle it on your own. Report it immediately to your supervisor, head of department or human resources.

“The first time I thought I was being bullied at work was after sharing my experiences with a co-worker from another department and my sister who told me those were not everyday encounters,”said Anna-Kaye Morgan*. “I was routinely required to interact with this woman, who was a manager, who would speak down to me, criticise my work without reason, yell to make a point, hang up on me during conversations and even curse in some instances.”

Morgan, who works at the same company, said she would make complaints to her boss regarding the co-worker’s tone and belligerent interactions but said that nothing was specifically done to address it. “I even once, in passing, mentioned it to someone from human resources, who said they had received other such complaints from other staff members about the same person but nothing was done. It was quite frustrating, and I was on the verge of quitting on several occasions because it just felt like a toxic environment.”

The key to addressing a bully is to be willing to stand up for yourself regardless of their position. Not speaking up will embolden them to continue doing it and even spur them on to greater feats.

You can try to defuse the situation by asking that they speak to you in a manner that is professional and in keeping with the general expectations of the company to see if that helps. While people are capable of saying and doing inappropriate things in the moment which they may later regret, repeated pattern is indicative of poisonous behaviour.

If it’s happening to you, there’s a good chance it’s happening to others in your workplace. If you can identify people who are also the victims of disparaging remarks and inappropriate behaviour, then you can make a case to your seniors and the human resource department to have the matter handled by them.

When making a case, note that it is important to document your encounters with the individual. If they have a complaint or criticism that you think is baseless, have them e-mail it instead of making a call. The ensuing exchange, assuming there are no others taking place outside the e-mail thread, will either force them to be more professional or serve as something tangible to share with your superiors should the need arise.

Also, there are instances where these toxic co-workers are people so knitted into the fabric of an organisation that they are perceived as untouchable or management is unwilling to act for fear of upsetting them.

It’s also quite possible that the individual bullying you is your own boss. In these instances, it will boil down to whether you can live with or limit these interactions and how they impact your psyche or possibly leaving the job altogether. And if you choose to leave, ensure that your exit interview accurately represents the reason for your decision to better inform future actions.